Ultimatum

[Cookido]

I decided I wanted to change therapist due to losing my trust for her during our last session (she handled me being dissociated badly).

Turns out I have two choices. Either I quit therapy, but then have to wait a year for new treatment. Or I finnish the therapy with a therapist I don't trust and whom have no idea when I'm dissociated, what to do or what dissociation is. I have the freeze respons almost every session.

I could also pay for private care or move. But I have to see if my economy can handle any of thouse.

I'm in a bad mood because of the whole thing. I blame myself a lot for not looking into my rights more, maybe the whole thing could have been avoided (I had 5 sessions to decide if I wanted to stay or not, apparently that was also a decision which would decide my future 1 year ahead. I waited too long before deciding).

I think I will stay in therapy. Maybe I can ask the therapist to leave and I can use the time for something else, like nap for 45 min two times a week.

[Rainagain]

My instinct at your next session would be to go into how much your trust has been damaged and how much being trapped into having to keep her as your therapist is making you unhappy.

Just keep talking about it until she transfers you to someone else.

Session after session.

But I'm not a nice person.

[sanmagic7]

cookido, i like rain's idea.  and, rain, i don't think your suggestion has anything to do with being or not being nice.  i think it has everything to do with assertiveness, boundary setting, knowing what does and doesn't work for you, and ultimately, with self-care.  which is being very nice to ourselves cuz that's what we deserve.

sorry you ended up in this predicament, tho, cookido.  i hope you don't lash out at yourself too badly.  we don't always see what's in front of us cuz we're not practiced enough to recognize it.  that's not your fault - you weren't taught the correct amount of self-care and how to know precisely when someone is dealing with you incompetently.

i hope there can be some kind of pos. resolution for you with this.  it would be great if this t would refer you to someone else who knows more about the effects of traumatization.    hopefully that will happen.  in the meantime, i hope you continue to reach out here.  i don't have a t, had to fire my last one because of similar issues, but i've gotten a lot of support and great ideas/suggestions from people that have helped me keep moving forward.  love and hugs to you, sweetie.

[Deep Blue]

I like Rain's idea too.

[Cookido]

Rainagain, I'm glad you gave that answer because it worked. I spoke to her about what broke my trust. She will try and transfer me to another therapist but it will take two weeks before she's able to discuss it with her collegues. I'm hoping for the best!

[Deep Blue]

  to you cookido

So happy to hear that

to you too rain

[Blueberry]

Wow, great idea Rainagain  and great for following up on it cookido 

I had been going to say great idea Rainagain but might not work in cookido's region of the world because it wouldn't everywhere e.g. mine. But there you go, it worked.

My advice would have been: don't believe everything they tell you.

There's a persistent rumour in my country that if you back out of therapy before your alloted sessions are up, the med. insurance company won't cover for you again for 2 years / 4 years / 5 years. It's just not true. The things people come up with... (whether fellow patients, med. ins., therapists, docs....)

[sanmagic7]

so happy to hear it worked, cookido.  well done.  love and hugs, and i hope your next t helps you rather than causing more harm.