New Member

[Assembly]

Hello,

I'm in my 60th summer. I'm not new to community forums, being online off & on for over 20 years working through my past in various ways.  Not always healthy ways since I was far from healthy. I honestly don't know how "healthy" I am now.  I have a lot of work to do. I never joined a mental health forum until my 57th summer and sometimes it's necessary for personal growth to move on. I came across this site yesterday evening and when I went to sign up, I'd apparently joined before. I don't recall signing up, but I've learned to shrug off somethings.

I've been in & out of therapy and hospitals forty years now. While I've met many special, caring individuals who helped me get past some trying times, I never met anyone to help me successfully deal with my first 15 years. These years are my foundation however fractured. They were the springboard for the following 45 years of dysfunction which at times were/are pure *. Trauma therapists are expensive and don't take any kind of insurance. I personally feel I should be able to interview them. See if we click. It is a relationship after all. If all goes well, a positive live-changing relationship.

What brought me to the mental health forum 2 1/2 years ago was the realization I was not just the only one who could save my child parts, it was my responsibility. Preceding that was their resurfacing after a very long hiatus and my acceptance. That led to an emotionally visual shift in my perspective.
Remember Baby Jessica caught in a well back in the eighties?  If you lived through that time you might remember how emotionally invested everyone was. It jumped off the screen and pulled anyone watching into investing as well.
The connection clicked in my mind between my child parts and Baby Jessica. Caught in a well for over 57 years and it now haunts me.

Enough cards on the table for now.  If you made it this far, thank you for listening/reading.

Assembly

[Blueberry]

Welcome back to the forum!  Even if you don't remember. Doesn't matter. Life is busy.

I know that it's often difficult to find trauma-informed therapists, but I didn't know that they categorically don't take any kind of insurance. That will depend on what country you're in. I'm not digging for information so no need to tell me your country. From what I gather here on the forum, that doesn't seem to be the case in the US.

But there is other help. There is tons of information on this forum, both in our posts and on the website. Check the Resources section especially here http://www.outofthestorm.website/downloads/ and the Treatment section here http://www.outofthestorm.website/treatment/   
Many people on the forum find a lot of concrete help and validation in reading Pete Walker's book Complex cptsd From Surviving to Thriving  http://pete-walker.com/index.htm Yuo can read most or all of it on his website.

[Erebor]

Welcome back.  Congrats on getting back in contact with your child parts and being able to have that realisation about looking after them!