Working with CPTSD-Trigger Warning

[Dyess]

Trigger Warning
Okay so my review with my GP is coming up to determine if I will return to work soon or not. I don't know. Last time I was out for the anxiety, panic attacks, depression, I returned to work feeling pretty good and requested some minor accommodations which my supervisor said there shouldn't be any problem with. When I got to work it was like all of that was never talked about, in fact it seemed to have been made worse. I work in a very large Emergency Department at a local hospital. So.....I ended out again because of the stress, anxiety and panic attacks all over again. It was like my progress was all for nothing. So this time, do I chance that they are going to do the same thing to me again? I'm already having visions of elderly men coming in with bleeding from the head. It's quiet common, older people fall a lot. But then that triggers me with the flashback of finding Dad.

My FMLA time is out, and they are talking about putting me on unbenefited leave, which means no insurance, my main reason for working. *sigh*

edited to add: Thread locked due to the original poster having left the forum and the topic being of a specific personal nature. Feel free to start your own thread on a related topic or join a thread of a similar nature.

[C.]

Sounds like a very stressful job and not a very good match for you right now.  I'm not sure what to say other than your health and wellness are ultimately more important than any "work." 

I've had to take a leap of faith regards work a couple of times in the past 3 years.  I had the same benefited job for 16 yrs, then boom, c-ptsd.  FMLA for five months.  I returned and could have stayed, but I eventually realized it simply wasn't good for me.  I have a new career, a new job, and it's working ok for now.  I did have to leap blindly a couple of times, but it's worked out for me.  I've been able to continue therapy and my health care.  For a while I had government health insurance that paid for physical health needs and I paid privately for the psychotherapy.  All that to say I trust that whatever happens, things can work out the best for you too.  Putting your health first may seem counter-intuitive to everything you've been "taught" and told, I don't know what's been your experience, but the benefits part will work out somehow whatever you decide.

[Dyess]

Thanks C. I appreciate the response. This is not an easy topic to discuss because there are so many varribles to it. It's a job I love, but the atmosphere has changed so much, not in a good way. They are getting away from patient care and more to customer satisfaction, which is hard to do in the healthcare setting.
I guess it will work out, some how. Just wish that ah ha moment would come and make this CPTSD all better, so I could get on with my life.