Major flashbacks- Trigger Warning’’’. Looking for some advice.

[Eyessoblue]

Please can anyone explain how the body suppresses things that have happened.
I'm just going through a major flashback, I'm getting scene by scene very slowly of a s.a episode that happened to me when I was 6.
I don't understand tho, why have I not remembered this before? Where is all this suddenly coming from?
Part of me thinks I must have imagined it, yet I know from how my brain and body are reacting to it that I haven't imagined it.
I am feeling physically sick and shaking non stop and now having to go back to alcohol to help relieve the pain I'm feeling and to cover it up.
Is it possible that your body and brain can store something like this for this longober 40 years  and then for it to suddenly be staring me in the face?
I literally feel like I'm going mad.
Can anyone help me with this please.

[Libby183]

I am so sorry to hear that you are having this terrible experience.  It sounds awful. You mentioned recently that therapy was bringing up a lot of new issues. It sounds as if this horrid flashback might be following on from dealing with more issues from your past. Have you had a particular stressful experience which has triggered it now?

It does seem incredible that the body/brain can hold onto these memories,  but it really does. We've experienced this in emdr sessions.

I am so sorry you are suffering and just want you to keep safe.  Do you have support at the moment?

Please take care and as people hear remind each other,  it will pass. When do you have your next therapy session?

Sorry I can't be of more help.  I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

Libby.

[Sceal]

I'm very sorry to hear that you're struggling with this right now. It must be awful.

Our bodies and our brains are beautiful parts of us that take care of us for as long as it is capable of. And if the brain and the body believes that keeping the memory stowed away for so long is the only way for you to survive, it is what it might do. Such an experience at such a young age and time where you're completely rely on the safety of adults to protect you, your mind and your body did the only thing it could in order to protect you from the danger you were facing at the hand of another.

Whenever I get stuck in these flashbacks when I'm at my psychologists office she helps talking me out of it, by making me pay attention to the body. Keeping the focus on the body. If my arm is shaking, what happens if I move it? What happens if I stand up? It's okay if I'm not able to move it, but just trying to keep focus on it. She also wants me to tell her the objects I see in the room "Three white windows, a red door, one big and one small whiteboard", it's a way to force your brain back to here and now. And saying it out loud with strengthen the bond to being here and now. I understand this might sound weird, and it might sound too much. I've had a few months of practicing now and it's gotten easier. I just thought I'd share it with you - in hope that it might help you too to ground you back now.

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you so much I think I just want some validation that I'm not going mad which is what I feel like. I'm at an ongoing battle with my brain.
I'm at anxiety clinic on Tuesday but it's all so positive about going back to work etc and I'm just like I can't even get out of bed some days how the * can I do a job!
Just don't feel like certain people you think will have the answers have no idea, I'm on this nhs thing where you get so many weeks and basically get kicked out the door but reapply if you need to then wait for how ever long it takes to get seen again and so on and so on....
Feeling frustrated and angry like no one gets it or understands apart from everyone here of course!!
I'm trying to journal but not helping then I have a phone number I can contact of a local mental health team who will talk to me, I'm tempted to call as I need some support right now but just worried who may pick the phone up and not have a clue sending me into further frustration!!!
Thank you both for answering though. It's so nice to have this site for you to be able to talk and know who will understand.xx

[Hope67]

Hi Eyessoblue,
I am so sorry to hear you've had this experience, and I wanted to send you a gentle and supportive hug   
Hope 

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you hope, how are you doing?