Hoovering and gaslighting is happening

[AncientSoul]

With my brother dying last week, then hearing my friend and almost adopted brother has about one good year left before he can't do anything. This has been a tough week and weekend.

Now my sister and her kids are starting in on me. Since my sister no longer has my brother (and his retirement checks), more attention seems to be placed upon me by my sister and her kids. I expect that, but I fear it will not stop. I realize I will have to have some contact with my sister, but have learned in the past to be vary careful and to expect anything.

Then a former girlfriend from the 90's got in touch with me. She broke up with me when my mother got sick and I became caregiver. Then when my mother died, that former girlfriend told me "Since your Mom is dead, we can be together again." Sorry, but if tough times hit and someone bails, they will do that again. I would rather be alone.

My sister always seems to offer things that are not hers. She's done that for as long as I can remember. She see's something and will claim it is hers. Or she will see something and ask, "Can I have that?" or "Will you buy that for me?" I turn the other way and run. But for years now, I won't even speak with her. It is pointless. I'm never right and I get accused of many things that I know nothing about.

Today, I'm thinking its all me, that I'm the cause. I stay out of peoples way and try to help. The stress to me if very real. Then more stress when my sister tries to communicate with me.

If I respond in any way to my sister, then more and more things will follow. It will escalate until she has total control. I will not allow that to happen ever again.  I keep hearing from professionals. "Sell and run."

I will need to be available for my friend for another year or two. That's about all the time he may have.

AncientSoul