Bad reaction

[AncientSoul]

I'm back again. Yesterday was strange, and I realized something about myself.

Yesterday evening, I was outside and was stung by a wasp. I am not allergic to wasps, and I am medically trained, so I treated the sting, took a Benadryl and followed my protocol for my being alone. I wrote on the calendar the date and time and that I was stung by a wasp. I left the Benadryl on the counter and I left a friend I trusted a message of what I had done and that I was fine. I then sat down to watch the news, and I had my land line telephone by my side.

I dozed off a bit, as I was tired, and then all of a sudden I heard yelling outside my house and pounding on one of my doors. I got up wondering what was going on. It was my sister, and she came around to my deck. She yelled that she had been called and told I was stung by a bee. Then suddenly, all the aggression that has been held up within me boiled to the surface. Despite she is my sister, and my brother died a bit over a week ago, I told her that I was okay and told her to go home. Of all people in the world I would not wish to be around me if I needed help, that person is my sister. I do not trust her in any way, shape or form. And I wondered how she would know I got stung. I was actually angry, and the adrenaline was flowing through me.

So I checked messages, then my cell phone started ringing so much it nearly fell off the nightstand. The people started showing up. I could not get my computer to respond to send a message I was okay. And my cell phone battery lost its charge before I could check who called.

I did let my cousin, who was called by a friend, come in to talk. I shook my head in disbelief about all that transpired. I was to blame. I trusted someone, and they panicked. Normally, I would have laughed it off, but seeing my sister, having her walk to come into my house. That set me off, because now with my brother having died, I had no one to protect by telling my sister what I thought. She had a stunned look on her face, but I did not want her in my house. I do not trust my sister at all.

People were worried, and I spent hours telling people I was okay. My cousin only lives a few miles away, and she thought it was funny. She realizes and understands about my sister. So that was not a problem. And I still can't figure out how my sister found out. She gave a name of someone who called her, but I have not a clue as to who that may be. I am wondering if my sister has somehow figured out how to access my email and messaging.

I explained to the friend I had told that to call me, use my land line. I'm in the phone book. But she got so worried. So now I wonder if she will ever talk to me again.

I wish no one ever goes through what I have experienced as the result of having a sister like I have. And I hope that one day people will understand why I act like I do with my sister. My Mom told me flat out that my sister is a Narcissist. Both parents and my brother told me to never trust my sister. And it is difficult for me to understand why other people cannot see that.

So I am reviewing my protocols in the event something happens to me. I live alone on a very big place. Yet I have always been on the alert in regard to my sister. I often am outside, and catch her staring at me across the road while she is hiding behind a bush. I am very cautious where I live.

What bother's me though is my aggression came out last night towards my sister. I figured that my sister cannot harm my brother anymore and use that against me if I fight her and don't follow her commands. And I have been No Contact with her for years, and have let her know and let her kids know. My sister tells her kids that I want to be left alone by everyone. That is not true, I only do not want to see my sister. My Mom said it many times, she said to me that my sister is pure evil. I didn't accept it until my Mom got injured. Then I understood clearly.

I don't know if my friend will ever talk to me again. I told her to never call my sister and to use my land line. And that I do take precautions in the event of something like that happening to me. I didn't tell anyone that my concern would be that if I was down and out, I would not put it past my sister for finishing me off. That is my own concern from what I have witnessed my sister and her actions over the years.

AncientSoul

[Hope67]

Hi AncientSoul,
I am glad you are ok, and that the wasp sting didn't cause you any allergic reaction - you handled that situation so well - but it was a pity that it all got a bit out of hand, with someone phoning your sister.  I can imagine how upsetting that must have been for you to see her - and for her to try to come into your home.  You handled it well.  Having anger within you - that's understandable too. 

You mentioned how your parents told you to be careful of your sister, as she was 'pure evil' - I also have a sister (but have had minimal contact with her) but one thing she did say to me consistently was that she perceives my FOO (parents) are 'pure evil' - and my M is probably a narcissist - and the thing is that hearing that - it can be hard sometimes to 'take it in', but it's actually fairly solid warnings - for someone to feel that way.

to you AncientSoul, and I hope you're able to work out something to help you to feel safer in your home.

When you described your sister hiding behind a bush - near your property - being so close, that's not good.  I don't know what to suggest, except that I hope you are able to find out something that will help to keep boundaries and keep you safe.
Hope