The Pity Invitation

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Contessa

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The Pity Invitation
« on: August 10, 2018, 11:41:01 PM »
Anybody feel that?

I'm well and truly over that form of invite: the after thought when everything else and everyone else has already been confirmed, when you're the superfluous participant, when you're the one filling in because someone elses plans fell through. When you're there not understanding the in jokes, listening to everyone elses exploits. You are not actually one of the group. You never will be.

Just not interested any more. I'd rather be alone on my own.

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radical

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Re: The Pity Invitation
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2018, 12:57:38 AM »
Yeah, familiar.

I am comfortable on my own.

My advice, be careful that what you think is a 'pity invite' isn't one of four other possible other things


An awkward but genuine attempt to re-establish contact';

A guilt invite in which the inviter knows they have not done right by you, or that others have seriously wronged you and they didn't speak up, and they therefore feel an obligation that is not primarily based on pity.

An invite in which the inviter wants to continue to be connected with you, but would prefer to not be with you when you are feeling bad but feels that it would be wrong to ignore you until you become more comfortable company for them.

And a straightforaward invite which you have miscontrued.

Always wishing you well Contessa

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Contessa

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Re: The Pity Invitation
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2018, 02:17:19 AM »
Thanks for the heads up Rad.
I can tell the difference between them, and the others just don't even happen.
I'll accept them when they do happen, but they just don't.
The pity invite is just too humiliating to accept. I've grown used to being on my own.