Failure To Thrive

[plantsandworms]

I am the child
of a miserable man waiting to die
and an angry woman so desperate to live that
life just slipped through trembling hands,
I am the self-centered daughter
of eclipsing emotional black holes
born through starving,
I am chaos. I am a hungry void,
there is no end to what I am missing.

I don't need anything
or anyone, just this familiar state of wanting,
this inertia forever waiting
for life to start in spite of me,
what kind of child gets kidnapped,
just like that?
What kind of kidnapped child
gets returned?
I am unwanted baggage,
too old now to claim.

I am my own,
and most days I rebuke this gag gift,
don't you know?
You cannot nurture a life force
that was never there,
you cannot reach inside yourself
and find something never given,
not everyone is born
with all the tools inside of them.

This is the story I tell myself.
This is the legacy I lead,
but somewhere inside me
still lives a seed.

[Deep Blue]

This is an incredible poem.  It is so powerful plantsandworms. I'm blown away by your ability here.

Safe  if it feels ok. 

I know it says you don't need or want anything here.  Does it help to know that I'm reading and I appreciate you?

Much love