Want to move, but I don't have the resources to move all my personal things

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SunnyDays

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Hello, have anyone being in this situation. After a disastrous depletion of resources and work and money (I've always worked and earned quite OK!), now I have a small place to escape from 2 abusers, decades of abuse as you may guess.

But I don't want to leave my computers, expensive keyboards, and specially: 3 huge boxed of DVDs full of personal information of all kind, documents (both digital and in paper),. Takes a lot of energy, time and I don't know how to escape.

Any advices, hard to think outside the box right now...

thanks,
Sunny

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BeHea1thy

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Hi Sunny,

You have probably thought of everything possible up until now, but asking for other viewpoints is always good. I offer this as an extreme and last ditch effort to save yourself, your life, and your sanity. I'm not necessarily advocating  this solution, but starting to think about the end result, your escape, might clarify issues for you.

Fourteen years ago, I intervened in a eviction proceeding. I had contacted the landlord by mail and negotiated, or tried to, with no results. I ended up flying to another state, renting a vehicle, going to the residence and then spent about 6 hours packing as much as possible into the vehicle. I left a check for $200 on the counter. There was a mound of possessions left, but nothing could be done further. My sibling also packed her vehicle, and we drove back 400 miles to my home. Thus she began her new life, which unfortunately held me fast in the center, trapped like a fly in a spider's web.

Twenty two years ago, I also rescued my daughter from the home of her Father and stepmother following an incident of physical abuse. That involved a drive of 150 miles and instructions for organizing her things for a curbside pickup.  Naturally, I had to move things myself and quickly pack the vehicle, but I saw it as a tactical exercise, which helped stem the anxiety and fear I was experiencing.

Point being that when it comes to survival, prioritizing is everything. If you feel threatened enough to want to escape, and you also feel in your heart of hearts that you life and sanity depends on it, you can do it, but it won't be easy or painless. In fact, it will be very painful. But looking at pain that starts in healthy choices is a lot different that pain than emanates from the same choices that reinforce power plays you never were equipped to resist.

I would suggest the first things to separate out are your personal, private data, wherever they may be found. Start loading onto portable devices. And separate all discs or whatever other media you have which tells the story of your life. This is critical to being able to reconstruct it. And you will have to reconstruct, in whole or in part. Start going through those 3 huge boxes: organize and prioritize. If you're like most of us, some stuff is old and some stuff isn't. Totally, securely discard the old stuff and keep the new. (last 5-10 years)

Second, start to also prioritize your hardware. What are the 3 things you absolutely can't live without.

I know this seems pretty drastic, but if you can see it in terms of a fire or a car accident, it might work better. You have your life, and the other "can be replaced". This is not to minimize but to focus on what's absolutely essential, your ability to function, live, work and actually enjoy life following your escape, which is why you're doing it in the first place, right?

P.S. I didn't heavily edit or amend this post like I usually do, so apologies if there are things which ramble or are unclear.

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Kizzie

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What about a delivery service Sunny?  They will pick up your boxes and take them to your new place for not a whole lot of money I suspect.  If not, do you have a friend or family member who could help out?  There may even be some not-for-profit groups in your area who help out with this kind of thing for free - maybe Google this?
 

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Rainagain

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Re: Want to move, but I don't have the resources to move all my personal things
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2018, 04:11:40 PM »
Hi
If money is tight could you sell some stuff to have the money to save the rest?

A tough choice I know.

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SunnyDays

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Re: Want to move, but I don't have the resources to move all my personal things
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2018, 04:41:38 PM »
Hello friends,

I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to reply, not because of lack of time or things like that. But because is somehow a passive triggering for me this topic. But I've read all the replies, and in fact, as I type this I'm following many good pieces of advice, like getting rid from the non essential things, and asking for help (I haven't received anything from my two "friends", which is a good signal to keep some distance from them).

Money, yes, I have some synths and computers that are quite expensive, thanks to my work in the near past. The thing or my fear is that I will need them to create my money, work. (Music and software development mainly)... But there are many (many) things that I can publish, and that's OK... but it will take more time. I'll have to do it I guess...

I hope this thread is useful for many survivors that are still in this position. I'm also considering getting back to the usual normal works I've used to do. It's hard, it's like a wall between me and the idea of earning deserved money... I have no problem with starting from 0, from scratch so to speak. But there's a mental wall, my physician is somewhat helping me and a medication helps to break that wall with a cost (less focus).

You know? I was even considering (for a moment) taking a loan, a small one. But my gut feeling is telling me not to, there are many other ways... it's amazing that I only need 400 bucks to survive... while I've earned that little amount in a week years ago, and more without difficulty.

I'll keep you posted and I will try to keep it simple and short, my story isn't more important than yours. But it helps me a LOT to express among peers. And I really appreciate it.
                                                 
All the best to you, and keep on moving forward (I say this to myself and to you guys).

Sunny,
Argentina

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Rainagain

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Sunny days
What I realised from your last post is that the great thing about the people here is that they are trying to get by with as much determination, dignity and integrity as they can muster.

That's what connects me to this site, I know I'm in trouble but I want to do do my best to get through it with as much grace as I can manage.

I see the same attitude from others here, we are carrying a lot but still trying to go forward. Its the best side of human nature highlighted because we have experienced malevolence, the worst side.

Reminds me of the hobbit, let's all meet up at the prancing pony.......

Hats off to all of you.

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LilyITV

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Just catching up on your story Sunny.  I'm so excited for you!  Although you do have to make some tough choices re your personal belongings, it will definitely be worth it in the end. 

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Kizzie

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There are a number of organizations in Argentina who might be of some help (I can't read the language but they are from the  "Hot Peach" web site - http://www.hotpeachpages.net/samerica/index.html#Argentina)

All the best Sunny, plse let us know how things go.   :yes: