Glad to have found you!

[Jdog]

Hi -

I am very pleased to have found this resource.  My Cptsd came to light following the death of my Mother nearly 3 years ago.  I had one of those "out of the blue" breakdowns and began seeing the therapist who had helped me during the time Mom was needing more care and becoming more disabled due to multiple strokes.  Once she was gone, my codependence more truly revealed itself and through research I found Pete Walker's great website and figured out that the Cptsd was underlying the codependence.  I am doing much better now, though as my T says, "the commitment is daily" and Just as others do I wrestle with demons.  In addition to journaling and emailing my T nearly daily, I run a lot and running is a HUGE help in self regulation.  I'm up early this morning preparing for a seven mile race, have a half marathon in a week, and am building to a marathon at the end of the year (second one).  The discipline and movement keep me calmer and more focused.

Well, that's about it....I'm sure I will have many occasions to post in future.  Thanks again, and I send good wishes to each one of you in your amazing journeys!

[keepfighting]

Hello, JDog,

nice to meet you on the forum! 

I totally get how your codependency wasn't an issue until the death of you m: After I married, I moved to a different European country and that's when it gradually dawned on me how codependant I was.... (though I didn't learn the name for it until I started t a few years later...). Nothing like a major life event - like the death of your mother or me moving far away - to force you to take a fresh look in the mirror and re-asses your life and yourself. Codepency is not something you can just 'snap out of', but you can take several steps to change your life and be kinder to yourself and it sounds like you're already well on the road to recovery.  Your t sounds nice and validating.

I love how you've taken up running for yourself. I'm in awe at how much you have achieved for yourself - both in physical as in emotional wellbeing. Second marathon - wow!

I joined a gym and exercise there three to four times a week. It's just 'me' time (I'm nowhere as fit as you must be) - and sometimes I use it as a flight response to get me out of 'freeze'.

Anyway, glad you've found us and looking forward to your next posts!

kf

[Jdog]

Hi!

Thanks for the kind and validating comments about discovering codependency later in life and working through it.  At age 56, I sometimes get frustrated that it's taken me so long to figure myself out but I guess we learn things when we are ready to move forward and take the next steps.  Yes, I can see how moving to another country would be enough of a change to wake a person up and I'm glad you have also taken up exrercize as a form of self therapy.  i am working on not comparing my fitness so much to that of others (tough, however) and just looking at the "me time" aspect and the soothing effect it has upon me ( and the great endorphins too).  In recently gave up drinking alcohol ( also not comparing myself to anyone else in that respect) and so keeping active is that much more important. 

You hit it "on the nose" when you said how nice my T sounds.  True, true.  Patient enough to allow me to write very often and with good enough boundaries to know when to toss my issues right back into my own lap (with words of support and encouragement).  Best wishes in all of your own self care also!

[Kizzie]

Hi  :wave:and a very warm welcome to you JDog!