The thought of dating again both scares and repulses me

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LittleBirdy

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The thought of dating again both scares and repulses me
« on: August 29, 2018, 03:24:53 AM »
I am currently in the process of accepting, learning and healing from the fact that a few months ago I got out of an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. The thought of dating again anytime soon repluses me. I hate the thought that I was so controlled, that I really believed that I was crazy. Recently I met someone who I thought I liked at first but then came to the conclusion that he’s probably not in the mindset to be dating anyone. On our date, he spent far too much time saying how he only attracts crazy women and also putting himself down and it made me uncomfortable. I stopped talking to him and I feel guilty about it. I know I shouldn’t and that people do it all the time but I dont know. Plus like I said, the thought of a relationship right now repulses me. I just want to live my life and not have to worry about another person and what they might think of everything I do. Why do I feel guilty???

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Three Roses

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Re: The thought of dating again both scares and repulses me
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 03:49:05 PM »
We are made to feel guilty for practicing self-care, either purposely or just as a result of living with/around toxic people. When we act in our own best interest we receive the message (from somewhere - from others or from our inner critic) that we are risking rejection, humiliation, or physical harm.

Self care is recognized as essential by healthy people, and we attract like minded people by practicing it. New friends are coming your way.