"Understanding the Borderline Mother"

[Blueberry]

I'm reading Lawson's "Understanding the Borderline Mother".

I find it fascinating but it also is obviously really difficult for me because it triggers impulse for a type of SH I developed as a child to deal with the CSA. That was done to me by my mother and although I can't remember off-hand any graphic descriptions of CSA in this book, apparently just reading about what I presume is my mother's mental illness and how it affects a child and often seeing myself in that child is too much.

NTS: take it easy, do IC work, self-soothe, and don't read anymore till back from healing retreat

[Whobuddy]

I haven't read Understanding the Borderline Mother but I read Roth and Friedman's Surviving a Borderline Parent. My desire was survival more than understanding at the time. I may pick that book up, too, as I have heard good things about it.

I wrote all over this book as things came to mind and I don't usually do that. It was as if it was telling my life story. So weird. A lot of my abuse/neglect was covert and on again off again so this book helped to validate what I went through and how very wrong it was.

I hope your healing retreat is awesome!

[Wattlebird]

Blueberry, did you read this book?
Is it any good?
I'm not sure I'm ready to read it just yet but I may buy it and put it aside

[Blueberry]

I've read it, yes, and from time to time I go back to it and re-read, especially the Witch section. Funnily enough, I was reading bits again yesterday.

Is it any good? It's partially helpful. I can see better what the dynamics in FOO are.

The book isn't new, so I question some of the conclusions the author comes to. Like children of a Witch mother which includes me will develop BPD unless X (protective factor) happens. X didn't happen to me but I don't have BPD, I've got cptsd. The book was obviously written before cptsd heard of much. So long as I don't take that personally and just think 'yeah, yeah, blah' instead that's OK.

Same thing with some of the other categories - like fathers, or children of BPD mothers. children of Witch are divided into no-good child and something else and I see myself in both a bit. Not a place to go to see what your life is going to turn into because I'm sure there are nuances the author didn't write about.

A minor thing bothers me: it's written with the American public in mind, not the international so the author throws names around and seems to expect you to know who they are. I don't always and can't be bothered googling while reading, mainly because my Internet access is in a totally different spot.

That's all I can say atm. There is a longer discussion on it over at Out Of The Fog if you're interested.

[Wattlebird]

Ok thanks blueberry I will pop over