Being alone

[kezkel101]

I was just wondering how people recover when they are all alone. I dont mean feeling lonely i mean being alone.
I have no one in my life. I have no one to call for a chat, no one I can call to go cinema or dinner with. I dont even have any one i can put as a emergency contact or come to uni events with me. I have no friends or family.
I just dont get how im meant to recover with no one in my corner no support network.

[woodsgnome]

I'm in the same boat, kezkel 101. Then again, mine is mostly by design, going back to when I just decided my best shot at recovering any sanity from my early years was to literally escape to the woods. Mind you, escaping one's physical environment doesn't fully heal the scars, but at least it provides a different vantage point, I guess.

I had some luck in falling into a mini-career wherein I could be in periodic contact with the world, but easily retreat to my 'hermitage' when necessary. I actually had 4 dear friends, but they all died within months of each other a couple years back.

My coping, if one needs to call it that, consists mostly of extensive reading, listening and playing music, enjoying nature, pets, regular therapy, but little else. Being very burned by the early abusive years, the social world is not something I miss, but it also ruined my opportunities for connection since those previously mentioned friends died. I feel stymied trying to find any new friends. But the key seems to be not trying, just being myself, and letting things take their course. That sounds pretty glib, if not very simplistic. Makes me sound contented; well, sometimes, until my inner demons come rushing back in. Concerning that, meditation has helped, but one needs to be careful even there in these times when meditation has also become just another part of the self-help industry.

Perhaps it helps at least a little to realize that there are many lonely sorts out there. Even in dense urban areas, it sounds like many are awfully lonely and from a variety of circumstances. To hear some of those voices, and how they navigate some of the loneliest places, it might help to find a podcast that helps one realize they're not as alone as they think (this forum of course also does that). The podcast I have in mind is called "Terrible...Thanks for Asking" and can be accessed via:

https://www.apmpodcasts.org/ttfa/

Other than that, I'm sorry to be so sparse on any practical tips that would work for everyone's situation. The other thing I'd stress is to be open and realize that life's only sure thing is that it changes. I've been adrift and without hope, but surprising things happened and life was better for a while. For now, I'll leave you with something you seem most in need of--this

[Blueberry]

kezkel, here are 

I know there are no meet-ups face to face on this forum, you can't phone anybody or meet up to go for a movie, but we are here and we do care.

I'm not completely alone, though for a long time the most important 'people' in my life were my pets, so I hope somebody else on the forum who is might respond to you.

[Kizzie]

Kezkel are there any clubs at your univ that you would feel comfortable trying out?  There may even be a support group for students who are dealing with similar issues given many do find univ difficult.  Also, I don't know where you're located but you could do a search for support groups in the community. There aren't F2F groups for Complex PTSD just yet (although one of the first is starting in Bedford UK on the 13th), but there are groups for abuse etc. 

[Kizzie]

Here's a group you might try - https://www.standalone.org.uk/.  They have support groups in different locations but they also offer workshops and a student focused portal - might be helpful