Got myself in a pickle

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Gromit

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Got myself in a pickle
« on: September 13, 2018, 06:01:48 AM »
I have been feeling much better, had CBT courtesy of the NHS, joined an ACOA group etc.

Thei scenario is triggering me though. My husband managed to get gig tickets for our daughter and her friend, plus me and the other mother. He paid, now he is asking if I have heard from the other mother regarding paying something. I did tell her that he would want the first half asap, which she said she would sort. Now the girls are back in school and he has to pay off the credit card soon he is asking if I have heard anything, he doesn't want to be supplying interest free credit for months.

I find it really hard to ask for things, I find it hard to be in the middle between two others in a transaction or task. I find his methods of asking triggering but cannot explain this to him. The first time he asked if I had heard anything was just as I was trying to go to sleep, so that stopped me sleeping for a while.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

G

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Blueberry

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Re: Got myself in a pickle
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2018, 10:48:30 AM »
That sounds tough.  :hug: However I think it is actually your H who got you into a pickle, you didn't do it yourself. Really, it's his job to chase up on the money, not yours. I'm not sure how you would tell him though because I'm not good at that kind of stuff either.

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Gromit

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Re: Got myself in a pickle
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2018, 12:59:32 PM »
Thanks Blueberry, I should have handed him the 'phone to talk to the other mum the day he bought the tickets. He does not have her contact details, nor has he asked for them.

I have thought of a way out of my distress, I could pay him and let her pay me when she can as he is the one getting agitated. Not ideal, but you do what you have to do to get through, - something I read in an article on Medium.

G

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Three Roses

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Re: Got myself in a pickle
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2018, 01:55:19 PM »
I like your idea of paying him & dealing with the other mom yourself. Takes you out of the middle.

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Kizzie

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Re: Got myself in a pickle
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2018, 04:07:55 PM »
I have to admit I hate awkward situations like this Gromit, I think most of us here probably do.  What about just being straight with your H, tell him you feel really awkward and ask him to do so?