Triggered by Group

[Elphanigh]

So I have only had one session and am hopeful this won't continue but, I hit a major trigger right after having group therapy for the first time.I also had an awful nightmare about group setting that night as well.  Does anyone have experience with group that was similar? I don't want this to be a consistent reaction each week, and am hopeful maybe there is something I can do to help prevent it.

Thanks for any insights ahead of time!

[Kizzie]

Sorry to hear this Elph  I haven't done any group therapy, but I constantly have anxiety dreams about being the odd person out in social groups.  It's that  'feeling different than everyone' and fear of rejection that's so much a part of CPTSD creeping out I think.  Was your nightmare along those lines?  Would you feel ok exploring your reaction in the group?

[Elphanigh]

Thanks Kizzie  I am sorry to hear about your dreams, those sound awful. It wasn't so much that. My M showed up to group in this dream and my T allowed it to happen, even encouraging her. Ended with me and my T talking separately and her telling me she was so proud of how I reacted to my mom, but she was completely ignoring the fact I was panicked and not okay. Like she didn't see it or care.

I know for a fact my T would never see my M let alone allow her into a group, but that dream shook me to my core for whatever reason.

I am also notably the youngest and only new person in this group. Everyone was very welcoming but it is intimidating. I am also the only one who said they had any sort of ptsd/cptsd. Everyone else had anxiety disorders or codependency stuff. Which I do also have but they are linked in differently for me because of the nature of my trauma. So I do feel a little like the odd person out. Maybe that will change as I get to know them and continue working, but it is something to work on.

I can always share a bit of my reaction during one of our check ins next week. It might help. Good idea

[Kizzie]

Well I can understand why it was a nightmare - it was the deep fear of (direct or indirect) betrayal by your T essentially.  I assumed too that it was a group for CPTSD so I can see that being the only one could be unsettling.   did actually go to a F2F support group two years ago and felt similarly - everyone in it suffered from Bipolar and other mood disorders.  Anyway, I hope it gets better.   

[Elphanigh]

Thanks Kizzie, I really hope it does too. We will see. I  know the concept of what we are doing is wonderful, just also can't exist in this state every week.

[Blueberry]

Well I can understand why it was a nightmare - it was the deep fear of (direct or indirect) betrayal by your T essentially.  I assumed too that it was a group for CPTSD so I can see that being the only one could be unsettling.   ...  Anyway, I hope it gets better.   

all of it.  to you Elpha

[sanmagic7]

so sorry this happened, sweetie.  perhaps bringing it up might help next time.  don't know how comfy you are with that as a whole, so, yeah, maybe just a part if you're able.  can you talk to your t about it before the next one?  see what she says, or if she can give you any tips, allay your fears, etc.  sending love and a hug filled with comfort and caring.

[Elphanigh]

I see my T before the next group happens, so I will definitely talk to her about it. I honestly can't pinpoint the exact point of this trigger so I can't gully blame it on group, I just know it is part of it. Bringing it up with my T will be comfortable, not sure about how talking about it in group will feel. Still only week two.

I am sure my t will have some sort of advice or reassuring words at very least. I just need to make it to Monday. Thank you for the hugs and comfort, still in big need of those 

[Three Roses]

 ❤️

[Elphanigh]

  ♥️♥️♥️ thank you dear

[Elphanigh]

Group went much better this week. I still got emotional but it was over the work we were doing not the group itself. We started our first timeline drawing, which means we will start sharing and doing sculpts next week. I am a little nervous but also excited to see what that process looks like. Just wanted to update everyone, and say it was better. No nightmares, and I am fully functioning and normal for me today. 

[Kizzie]

Glad to hear this Elph   

[sanmagic7]

 

so happy to hear this, sweetie.     

[Elphanigh]

Thank you both! It is reassuring to feel okay after group. Like it may actually be the correct time for me to try this all

[Deep Blue]

Glad to hear group was better this week.  I don't blame you for being overwhelmed last week. So many changes and nightmares to boot!

Sending you more good times and good sessions