Self soothing methods when out please?

[Des]

Hi,

I feel like I am in a constant place of panic and fear at the moment and have been taught some self soothing methods when I'm in the house such as wrapping myself in a blanket and having a bath.  I have tried imagining a safe place but only seem to get so far before I panic again, the same goes for mindfulness.  I am really struggling though to find some things to do to self self soothe when I have a panic attack or emotional flashback when I'm out, does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks

[keepfighting]

What helps me (sometimes) is drink a gulp of cold water and concentrate on the sensation when it slides down my throat like nothing else matters at the time. If one gulp isn't enough to calm me down, I take another one - as many as are needed to get my mind/brain to refocuse and funtion again (up to two glasses of cold water once - really stressful situation...).

Maybe this helps you as well or have you already tried it?

[Rain]

Hi Des,

First a for you.

This is healing work you are doing.   It is the Journey.   It is admirable.

[schrödinger's cat]

I'm afraid my methods probably work best for mild triggers, and even then, an emotional flashback can still creep up to me unawares. Still - you never know, right? I'll just write down what I know, and you'll probably be able to tell if it's something that might work for you.

My CPTSD was partly (or largely, I sometimes think) caused by emotional neglect. My family and peers always gave me the impression that I would always, without fail, be rejected if I looked less than good. So bad hair days trigger me, or clothing that I worry looks frumpy. I'm on a budget, so this is a bit of a balancing act, but one thing that works is trying to make sure I feel good about how I look before I leave the house. I wish this weren't necessary. I'd prefer to simply stop feeling so insecure. But - baby steps, right?

Another thing I do is take my mp3-player. Listening to music limits my ability to concentrate, which is great because that in turn limits my ability to worry. Also, it gives me an element of choice. Having choices always calms me.

Then... hm, this is undoubtably something you do anyway, but like I said, I'll just throw all I can think of against the wall and then we can see what sticks? It's about limiting stressors. If your energy level is low, you're less able to deal with anxiety. I've no sure-fire recipe to limit stressors, and I don't have a list of possible stressors either. What I did was keep a notebook of things that happened during the day that drained me of energy / frustrated me too much / triggered me, and of things that were helpful or gave me energy. That proved helpful. Before that, I'd really underestimated how calming even 10-20 minutes of exercizing (or simply just brisk walking) per day is.

Then, if you have to expose yourself to one stressful thing, you can try and make sure that this is the only stressful thing you're having to cope with. So, if taking the subway makes you feel anxious, it might make a difference whether or not you're also hungry, or pressed for time, or not yet sure where you have to change lines, etc.

Another thing that makes me anxious is being in groups. I found out that things are easier if I take my crocheting. It gives me something to fiddle with, which reduces my anxiety some - because feeling anxious and insecure and THEN having to sit still? Yikes. And of course, it distracts my attention from my surroundings, which helps cut down on my social hypervigilance.

Do you think there are some grounding exercizes you could try and do in public? I've no earthly idea what "proper" grounding exercizes look like - but I've tried out simply drumming my fingers against my leg, focussing on the sensation there and consciously reminding myself that this is 2014, I'm not a kid anymore, I'm fine, it's over. Or running my fingers over the back of my other hand, crossing my arms, anything that gives me a physical sensation I can focus on. It seems to help, but I'm not in the habit of using them yet and constantly forget about them.

When I was reaaally young, I dealt with my social anxiety via daydreaming. So if I had the impression that someone in a store was giving me evil looks, I pretended not to notice and imagined a pirate leaping in through the window to challenge her for a duel.

In general, do you think it might be helpful to try and see if there are any specific causes to your anxiety - any specific people / situations / circumstances / etc that play their part in increasing it?

Having said that: this would have been NOT helpful during the times when I was really really really anxious. Back then, anxiety was simply like air, it was everywhere and happened all the time. Back then, though, I discovered that walking and exercizing helped a bit. Moving our larger muscle groups seems to be recommended if you have PTSD, for example, because it helps get rid of stress hormones.

Sooo I hope this wasn't too unhelpful, and I hope that the wind will soon be at your back again. All the best! 

[globetrotter]

Hi, Des:
Two things I have used to help me stay steady are as follows:
1) Focus on my feet on the ground - the act of feeling grounded - getting back in my body instead of in my head. I have tried this exercise on an average day and find that I LIVE in my head. It takes an effort to be conscious of how your feet connect to the earth and takes our minds off of our minds.
2) Breathing. Focusing on breathing. Three deep breaths can be very calming. Circular breathing, or meditative breathing, focusing on the movement of the breath in and out of the body can be soothing and regulate the heart beat, shifting focus.
It helps to practice both of these when you are already calm simply as practice.
Best to you.

[Des]

Hello,

Thanks so much to everyone for taking the time to help.  I will try all your ideas and see if anything sticks for me, I like the drinking water, concentrating on my feet, listening to music ones in particular in relation to me.

Thank you for reiterating that I am safe now Rain, that helped a lot. In terms of re-triggering by my boss I have had to go off sick from work as I can't face going back in and waiting and panicking about him doing it again, so to be honest feel like I'm constantly terrified and overwhelmed right now.   I will talk to my therapist about it more tomorrow but I am also terrified as there are only 4 sessions left so I don't know how I will cope after that.

Best Wishes

[Butterfly]

In addition to slow deep breathing I use aromatherapy. I have a necklace with my own soothing scent inside and can discreetly play with the necklace near my co face or simply look down and take a breath. Aromatherapy works because the olfactory system bypasses brain processing and there's instant body response. That's why some smells are so triggering for good or bad. Fine your signature soothing single or blend. I have a blend that an certified aromatherapist helped me mix based on my goal to sooth panic and how I responded to the individual smells and she mixed my custom formula. I wound up buying all the individual scents so I can mix it on my own into a separate bottle. If you don't want to go through all that, stop by a store and smell the essential oils till you find one that is nice. Just be sure they're pure essential oils and not just scented synthetic oil.

[Des]

Hi Butterfly,

The necklace sounds like a great idea, are they easy to get hold of do you know?  I don't know what smells trigger me yet, but I do know I like the smell of vanilla and the sea.

Thanks

[Butterfly]

Excellent. Vanilla is a good smell. Sometimes a health food store has samples out for sniffing. Two thoughts:

If you're thinking about making a combination smell them together because the combinations change the overall smell in effect. There are some oils that's not horrible alone but wonderful when mixed with one or two others.

The other thing is if you're going to smell more than two or three in succession, sniff some coffee beans in between. It's like cleansing the pallet between wine tasting. Maybe for now if you know vanilla is good stick with the single oil.

Necklaces are available on Etsy At different price points.

[Sandals]

Have you tried EFT, also called tapping? There is a post in one of the forums here, in the recovery section, I think.

It is the best thing I have tried and you don't need anything except yourself.

[Butterfly]

Here's something I most recently discovered quite by accident. There are particular places In my face and head that are holding my emotions all wrapped up. I've found a way to release them through self massage and simple cradling of my head. These actions can mimic scratching, thinking and pondering posture, and pushing into a knot on the side of my head can be done very discretely. Only once did someone ask and I just said "headache" and moved the conversation along.