Noob on board - hello to all

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Boy22

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Noob on board - hello to all
« on: September 15, 2018, 12:50:32 AM »
Salutations.

I am lying on my bed, the doors, windows and curtains closed and it is not enough. I need my noise reducing headphones as the local dogs barking is doing my head in. And I found this forum.

I came here via multiple surgeries as a child for my cleft lip and palate. I grew up and was a reasonably successful adult until I was 48 years old. My life had been crumbling for a few years prior and then it completely collapsed.

Fortunately I met the right people to help me, but even now two years later every day is a battle. I spend an awful lot of time cosseted in my bedroom with my Ipad, and yet I have only just discovered this forum today as I was googling depersonalisation after my session yesterday with my second psychiatrist.

I hope I can find a little bit more life via this forum.

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milk

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2018, 06:24:26 AM »
Welcome :)


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Boy22

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2018, 08:51:27 AM »
Thank you : for your welcome.

I have been reading some posts and they are so challenging in the issues they stir in me.

How is it possible to have come so far and yet need to do so much repair work?

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Three Roses

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2018, 03:13:24 PM »
Hello, and welcome to you, Boy22!

Quote
How is it possible to have come so far and yet need to do so much repair work?

It's a journey, that much is certain. At 61, I'm still learning things. It is a highly personal journey and one that should be taken a step at a time. It's important to go at your own pace to avoid re injuring yourself.

Again, welcome - we're glad you're here.  :thumbup:

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Kizzie

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2018, 05:32:45 PM »
Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS Boy22  :heythere: Sorry to hear you are struggling with feeling overstimulated. I too spent a lot of time in a darkened bedroom because my system was so overwhelmed. I too fell apart about four years ago.  I got into drinking to numb myself and unfortunately that became another problem I had to deal with.   

I'm doing fairly well now and I hope this offers you some hope.   :yes: 

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2018, 08:03:02 PM »
Boy 22 I can really identify with you, our stories are v similar..
The past 3 yrs have been this way for me too and I've had lots of help.. I'm working to be really gentle with myself and live in as balanced way as I can. I have also been experiencing the de personalisation it's horrible . Even down to not spending so much time on pc etc..
This forum is so supportive and helpful and I wish u lots of comfort and support here...

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2018, 08:05:49 PM »
Yes I ask myself how have I done so much work and action to support my self and recovery and feel so crazy.. But it's a layer thing I see that the difficult is another layer that gets experienced seen and moved through.... Healing

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Boy22

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2018, 11:24:53 PM »
Thank you boatsetsailrose and others.

My latest is beginning to get a more whole awareness of my inner child who is screaming in rage and terror and in pain. I have managed once - two weeks ago - to give him some space to be and comfort.

And along with that I am getting a better picture of my anger and how it is or is not expressed.

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: Noob on board - hello to all
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2018, 06:58:37 PM »
Good to get that awareness boy 22. I did some inner child drawing with my t and it was a shock to see how petrified that young girl is... Self Compassion is such a good tool for us.
There is a women called Lucia cappacioni and she as written a workbook around creative processes for inner child work I would recommend her.