Hospital

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Debora

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Hospital
« on: September 17, 2018, 07:54:33 PM »
Looking at going I to hospital. Scared. Can't sleep it's 5:50am here.
No one close to me for support or advocacy and protection while I'd be an inpatient and those places are unsafe and harmful. I thought my life would be something special. Ha! How deluded and arrogant. Now I think I will die or end up a drooling mental patient alone and at the merCy of an unsafe abusive system. I understand why people end their own lives.

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Laura90

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Re: Hospital
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2018, 08:11:30 PM »
Oh Debora, I'm sorry things are this bad for you.

Will you get a say in the final decision? Have you thought it was something you need to do because you think it might help?

Hospitals can be scary as you say, "sighs heavily"  but sometimes they are what is considered the best worst answer in order to keep yourself safe and at smallest risk to yourself. Bottom line even though you might not feel this, you are a person, a worthy person - worth having the space to look at all the available options and given the most helpful one to help you stay on the long path of recovery.

Do you have any charitable advocacy organisations near you you could contact?

My heart reaches out that you're in this scary, terrifying and what to you feels hopeless, desperate situation.

Remember if you can, you're never alone here. If just be our phones or laptops or tablet devices, we are rooting for you. :bighug:

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woodsgnome

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Re: Hospital
« Reply #2 on: September 17, 2018, 09:35:37 PM »
I hope you can take in what Laura90 pointed out. I'll second everything she pointed out and send you the best vibes possible that your anxiety will pass and that there will be a healthy outcome for you. You've already taken one positive step yourself, by posting here.

 :hug:


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Blueberry

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Re: Hospital
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2018, 12:54:24 PM »
I'm sorry you're feeling so awful atm Debora and that you're worried and frightened as well.

I have been inpatient a fair number of times. I can't say categorically that those places are unsafe and harmful. It could depend on what country you're in. I've been helped much more than harmed. Harm came from those who didn't know enough if anything about cptsd, but I hope that's maybe changing. Generally I was really, really helped in inpatient settings. I wonder more where I would have got to without them, in what kind of mess I'd be in now.


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Debora

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Re: Hospital
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2018, 03:58:03 PM »
Thanks all. I am so alone. I tried an online chat with a hotline here tonight and the counsellor said he couldn't say if it was or wasn't my fault that my dad hit me. I then had a disturbing email conversation with a person at TELL therapist abuse where she was judgemental and refused to apologise.  I feel so terrified and alone. There's no one on my side or who I feel safe talking to and who loves me and who I can trust. My life has been wasted and it's half over. The only reason i have to be here is my cat and he is 12yrs. I can hear the blood pounding in my head and Im scared of having a stroke and being stuck alone in am old persons home or having my parents given decision making power over me. I need more support.  I can't think straight. I go round in cires on the smallest things and my brain is like jelly. I need another person to help me think in a straight line and follow through with a plan. Does anyone relate. I'm scared
« Last Edit: September 18, 2018, 03:59:44 PM by Debora »