Deep Blue’s searching for balance journal

[Deep Blue]

Hey Sceal,
I'm ok.  I've been insanely busy while also trying to get healthy.  I've been sick pretty much the whole of 2019, plus my son was sick last week and my play just wrapped on Saturday.  I haven't been working on myself as much as I should be.

Hey wattlebird,
Thanks for popping in. I'll hopefully be back to the forum more soon.

[Hope67]

Hi Deep Blue,
Just popping by to send you a gentle hug    I am sorry to hear your son was sick last week - I hope he is feeling a bit better this week.  I also hope that you are doing ok - I know you're trying to get healthy, and so I wish you the best with that.   
Hope 

[Sceal]

Big hug to you, Deep Blue.
I'm sorry to hear both you and your son has been sick. I hope you're both starting to feel better.

Thinking of you.

[Deep Blue]

Hello friends,
Now that February is over I thought I'd pop in with a journal entry.

I'm doing better (health wise).  I finally was able to shake the nasty chest cold bronchitis thing I had going.  My son had a sinus infection but is now doing better too.

It was good for me to take some time away and work on myself but I missed many of you.

I plan on taking it easy and coming back slowly.  Been doing some serious inner work this year and I'm trying to be gentle with myself. 

[Jdog]

Glad to see you here, Deep Blue.  Take things as easy as you need to, no worries.  Thanks for the health updates.

[Hope67]

Hi Deep Blue, I have missed you.  Good to hear you are doing better health wise, and that your son is also doing better too.  Sending you a gentle hug, and  also want to say I hope you take your time and I wish you the best. 
Hope 

[sanmagic7]

hey, sweetie,

good to see you're back and healthier above all.  take your time - no rush.  always important to do what you can when you can. 

love and hugs.

[Three Roses]

  hello again!

[Sceal]

 

[Deep Blue]

Hey Jog,
I've missed you. Hope you are doing well. When is your spring break?

Sweet Hope,
I've missed you too.  Thanks for checking in and the gentle hug.  It is much appreciated.

Hey Sceal and 3R,
Love ya both and thanks for the hellos!

[Jdog]

Blue-

Spring break begins mid April, I think it's the week before Easter.  What about yours?

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
Ours is the last week of March. 
—————————————————-
Struggling so much.  I have been wanting to post but have not had the energy to.  I took the day off work and tried to cut myself some slack.

So tired... flashbacks are hitting me during the day.  They are knocking it out of me. I can't figure out what emotions they are making me have though???  I am not getting a panic attack when they are over but I feel the blood drain from my face and I feel like I'm going to throw up.  What emotion is that?

[sanmagic7]

fear?  surprise?  being startled?  i'm trying to think what might make the blood drain from your face and cause you to be nauseous.  is what you're struggling with frightening to you?  perhaps the amount of energy it's taking you for this struggle?  are you about to go thru a door, but are kind of scared of what that might mean?  what might be on the other side? 

maybe as you sit with it just a bit longer it will become clearer to you.  no matter what, you are not going thru this struggle alone - we're with you.  no matter what you might come up against, you have the strength to meet and defeat it, or accept it, which can also be frightening.

love you, blue.   

[Jdog]

Love you, Blue.  You are definitely not alone.  Although we are all over the world in a physical sense, emotionally we are right here next to you.  Holding your hand, looking into your eyes.  We've got this.

[Three Roses]

The nausea and blood draining from your face both sound like your body going into flight mode. Sounds as if you're terrified. I'm sorry you're going thru that, Deep Blue.  I care about you and I'm glad you're here.