Deep Blue’s searching for balance journal

Started by Deep Blue, September 18, 2018, 09:02:03 PM

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Jdog

Your story brings up sadness and a huge desire to protect you.  I am so very, very sorry that you were made to endure so much abuse.  So much more than anyone should ever have to go through, at any age.  Yes, have many safe hugs and know that whatever responses you are having are ok and absolutely normal, considering what took place.  You are a survivor, a true inspiration! :hug: :hug: :hug:

Deep Blue

3 Roses,
Thanks for everything.  I didn't feel very cared for in life and i appreciate your words more than I can express.  It makes me feel like there is a warm blanket on me.  :hug:

Notalone,
Now that I'm coming out of the EF I'm able to feel some compassion towards myself again.  When I'm in the EF my brain tells me I deserved the abuse. Thanks for reminding me that no one deserves it.

Woodsgnome:
Quote from: woodsgnome on March 21, 2019, 04:53:30 PM
Flashbacks are such a shock to the system. But when broken apart, the 'flash' part of that word can disappear, and can only go backwards. That there is any 'back there' is very disheartening, but it also is where it should be returned, so in the present your own beauty is left shining in spite of all the pain.  :hug:                                         
That gave me more strength than you know.  It really helped me ground and realize that in the present, I'm not in danger. I'm not being hurt.  The body memories are temporary and it is over.  Thanks for your care and compassion.

Jdog,
Thanks, for being you. I have been feeling so lost lately. Thanks for finding me and leading me back to the light  :hug:
——————————————————
I feel myself coming back to life again the last couple days.  The flashbacks have lessened and I'm about to start spring break. 

This forum and you all are so valuable to me.  Sometimes I worry when I post things. I'm terrified of triggering others with what I write. 

We have all been through so much already.  Sometimes I shake my head at the creative sadistic things that were done to us  :sadno: 

At any rate I'm feeling more myself again and that feels good. Deep breaths. I also hope that now that I am feeling better I can start to read around on the forum again. 


Not Alone


Hope67

Hi Deep Blue,
I am glad that you're feeling a bit better, and wanted to send you a hug  :hug:  I hope your Spring Break will be relaxing and that you can enjoy it.
Hope  :)

Jdog

Yay for your spring break!! Enjoy it for me, too, as I have to wait another 3 weeks in order to have more than two consecutive days away from the troubled youth of today!! :cheer:

Deep Blue

Thanks so much 3 roses and not alone,
Packing today. Spring break is officially here and we are headed to Disney world tomorrow morning. My son is really excited and I am too.

Hey Hope,
I've missed you. I always appreciate your insight and love. I will never ever turn away a hug from you either  :bigwink: :hug:  sometimes when I'm in the thick of it, I try to do on my own. But the fact is, we are social creatures and I needed people like you and this forum to be able to pick myself up.  I just needed that helping hand so thanks.

Jdog,
I will for sure enjoy some spring break for you too.  I'll get a little sun and lots of walking.   :). Hang in there with school and let me know if you need anything

Not Alone

Have a great time in DW where everyone is a kid! Enjoy your time there with your son.  :fireworks:

Blueberry


Hope67

Hi Deep Blue,
Wishing you and your family fun in DW.
Hope  :)

Jdog


Deep Blue

Home from vacation. Disney world was great but we are all exhausted. 

Notalone,
We all became kids again and the amount of ice cream we ate proves it ha ha!

Blueberry,
We had so much fun.  The number of steps you get there is insane. Over 10 miles most days.

Hope,
Thanks for the fun wishes.  Hugs to you!

Jdog,
My son scratched Pluto behind the ears instead of Mickey.  Pluto's leg started tapping when he did ha ha! Very cool. My son is a Donald Duck kid and he got to meet him. His year was made.

Much love and healing to you all

Jdog

Pluto!!  Love him!  Glad you all had such fun.  Welcome home, Blue. :hug:

Hope67

Welcome home Deep Blue.  Hope you are settling back in to normal routines.   :hug:
Hope  :)

Deep Blue

Hello all,
I've been wanting to post for the last week but was having trouble with the site. It seems to be working much better now so that's good.

So far things have been going really well the last couple weeks. Only 1 nightmare and 1 flashback last week! Yay! That's huge for me.

I'm feeling good and I'm happy about that cuz the end of April is a rough time for me. The 21st is very tough yearly so I'm hoping my good vibes help me roll through it easier this year