why is it so tiring?

[fullofsoundandfury]

Whenever I acknowledge my CPTSD symptoms I get WIPED OUT TIRED.

If I stay in denial and focus on being busy I have plenty of energy.

If I see a therapist, write about it, or tune into the reality of it, I become incapacitated with exhaustion.

I've been diagnosed by two separate people, roughly four years apart. I haven't done much trauma therapy. 

Does anyone know the biochemical reason for this difference in energy levels?

[Boy22]

Adrenaline.

One state produces excess adrenaline to give you the energy, the other switches off the adrenaline.

One state denies the trauma and healing that is required, the other says "enough, I need to look after me".

[fullofsoundandfury]

Oh.

Makes perfect sense.

Thank you Boy22 

[milk]

Yep, I am there with you on that. Therapy and daily life are taking me down     Do you see the smile after the bricks fall, that is where I am headed. Nice explanation Boy22, I can work with that. S&F hope you are finding your way with the energy shifting.

[Boy22]

Thanks guys.

I'm learning to balance my energy. To do limited amounts and then retreat into my quiet dark space. To not push myself to the state that I need adrenaline to continue to function because that has a huge cost to me.

Fortunately I can structure my world to make this achievable.

[LilyITV]

I have noticed this too.  Also, after very intense therapy sessions, I feel wiped out even if I went in feeling full of energy.  Another thing, immediately after my mother died, I remember feeling just completely exhausted and fatigued like I never had before.   The fatigue I feel after therapy feels similar to that, but not as intense and overwhelming. 

Boy22, it is so fascinating to me that there is a physical cause for the exhaustion. 

I also notice that during the work week, I feel fine and can manage to do the things that need to get done but on weekends can barely manage to get out of bed.