Hello

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bheart

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Hello
« on: September 18, 2014, 10:45:17 PM »
Hello,
I have been lurking/reading on the forum and thought I would join.  I am mostly isolated and any support is much appreciated.  I have CPTSD and feel like I am struggling right now.  The article on dissociation, attached below,  was enlightening for me.   Thank you Kizzie for providing that.  I have read the Haunted Self written by the same authors, yet the article helped me better understand.  The book is very good and my missing information could have been the state I was in at the time I was reading it (not sure).  I look forward to sharing and hoping to help in any small way I can. 

Bheart 

Re: Hello
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2014, 12:21:08 PM »
Hi bheart,

welcome. I'm mostly isolated too, and it's been an enormous relief to swap stories with others who know what it's like. And I've so much new information that I'm starting to fill a folder with it.

Maybe something's wrong with my browser, but I can't find any link to the article you mentioned?

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bheart

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Re: Hello
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2014, 01:03:49 PM »
Hello, Thank you cat for the welcome. 

I'm sorry I did not explain that correctly.  The attachment I read is posted by Kizzie in the books/articles forum near the bottom of the home page. 


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keepfighting

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Re: Hello
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2014, 01:17:04 PM »
Hi, bheart,

nice to meet you!

I'm glad you found this community. Since you've been reading/lurking already, you probably already feel that there is a lot of warmth and support to be found here. Hopefully you'll feel less isolated with your CPTSD.

Looking forward to your contributions!

kf

Re: Hello
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2014, 01:26:18 PM »
Still haven't found it... will search again later, but I opened a new tab and looked up The Haunted Self. Sounds promising, thanks for the tip.

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bheart

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Re: Hello
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2014, 02:00:03 PM »
Hi cat, it is at this link and attached in the 2nd post. 

http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=17.0

Hello Kf,
Thank you for the warm welcome! 

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Kizzie

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Re: Hello
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2014, 06:12:38 PM »
Hi BHeart and welcome to Out of the Storm!  Thanks for finding and posting the link to the article about Dissociation - it's a bit of a heavy read as are many or most of the academic articles,  but I'm glad you got something out of it.  I found a bit of a description about "The Haunted Self" so thought I would include it here too - http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/191/6/571.2.full

I see you have received a warm welcome already  ;D I think if you have been reading you'll know that we do try to be a positive,  supportive and safe place to come to and work on healing.  If you haven't read through  the Member Guidelines please have a look, and when you're ready perhaps also post here to tell us a little bit about your experience with CPTSD.

Again, welcome and glad you found your way to us.

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bheart

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Re: Hello
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2014, 09:11:39 PM »
Thank you Kizzie for the warm welcome. 

About a year ago, after going to counseling for the first time about something unrelated I found out I have CPTSD, am dissociative and have an attachment disorder (in my 50's ).  :(   I have been struggling ever since in the nightmare of my life.  I had forgotten details of my past until having been triggered and with a resulting visual flashback.  I don't want to trigger anyone so I will spare the details about my childhood from *, just to say that I had no one there for me and lived with emotional and physical abuse from both parents.  The discovery of CPTSD explains much about the struggles I have had in life.   :(

I appreciate everyone here willing to share stories and experiences to help others.  I have very little confidence and want to contribute also but worry about saying the wrong thing or in the wrong way.  It doesn't always stop me from trying though.   :)   
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 09:29:12 PM by bheart »

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Kizzie

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Re: Hello
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2014, 02:27:22 AM »
Not to worry BH, I am quite gentle in my moderating and will PM you privately if something you say is beyond our guidelines.  We're just trying to avoid really graphic details of abuse because they can trigger members.  If you're not sure about a post you can always add "Trigger Warning" in the subject line and/or PM and run it by me.  It won't take long until you're in the swing of things  ;)

I only found out about my CPTSD in my 50's which as you know is a long time to struggle with something like this.  So you're in good company as we all try to untangle this disorder and move forward with healing.

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selfcompassion

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Re: Hello
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2014, 01:04:53 PM »
A feeling of isolation is common with people dealing with complex childhood trauma -- it was for me as well. I discovered I had CPTSD back in the days that they first came up with the acronym, but they called it PTSD then, as they did not know the complex nature of ongoing childhood abuse in 1985.

Isolation and hypervigilance were traveling companions for me, and when I began working on my hypervigilance, I found that I could drop my fears of people and the environments they inhabit. For me, when I begin to feel the urge to isolate, I know that my hypervigilance is trying to sneak back into my mind.

Have you had a chance to read-up on hypervigilance? It is a very confusing state of existence, and is damaging to our bodies as well. Hypervigilance keeps us on alert for people -- like the people -- who hurt us so much. It can be very hard to convince ourselves that we are no longer in danger, when the danger of our childhood was so real, extreme, and long in duration.

Does any of this ring a bell for you? Hypervigilance can be dealt with, and minimized, and we really can join the rest of the herd, without undue fear. The non-judgemental practice of mindfulness has been the path out of hypervigilance for me. It may be a help for you.

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bheart

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Re: Hello
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2014, 01:54:22 PM »
Hello SC
Thank you for the information. I have read a lot since finding out, but nothing concentrating on hypervigilance.  I will definitely look into that specifically.
 :)