In the wrong support group

[Eyessoblue]

Hi, not been on here for a while, just frustrated as ever with the nhs failing me again. Back in March I was making good progress with emdr but my therapist was concerned about my anxiety and referred me to what I thought was anxiety clinic, I was told I'd be seen within a few weeks..... after 3 months of waiting I contacted them and was told there was very little in my area but they have found a Cbt lady who could support me, was booked up with her for 12 weeks and saw her twice at which point she went on long term sick leave that was it then nothing... 6 weeks later I was told I could go on a support group in my area, not great with groups but gave it a go, have been on it for 5 weeks and it's a self esteem group!! I don't have self esteem issues, every week I pointed out to the therapist running it that I'm on the wrong group this isn't what I need, they set homework for issues I haven't got, I told him this is ridiculous for me as to do the work I have to try and get myself into a situation that doesn't even affect me so sets me back instead of forwards. Eventually after my 5 th wk  he agreed with me that he' had no idea why I was on this course and should be somewhere else, I voiced my frustration and he listened, he said I need a trauma therapist- well really I was told that 3 years ago, then informed me that there is no trauma therapist in the area apart from someone who's nearly passed her training and would need to be supervised in working with me!! Oh and it's a 3-5 month waiting list!' I'm so frustrated yet again with the system, back in March I was feeling so much better and believe if I could have just continued where I was I would be a hundred times better, just feel like it's setback after setback, I know what I need, who I need to see, but why won't they listen. The mental health system here is so bad not enough staff or resources, really disappointed and feeling I have to find my own way through this now.

[SharpAndBlunt]

Hi eyessoblue, i just want to say I feel your frustration. In my area it is very much the same. The NHS is completely under resourced and I also have experience being put on the wrong course by them. It's so hard to admit but now the NHS is just not coping when it comes to mental health. There are probably many reasons for that but I think the main one is funding. It's so sad.

You will know how expensive therapy is and as well as all that the process of finding a therapist suitable is not easy (at least not for me). Others here might be able to help you with that. I can't really help you, just sympathise, sorry!

Good luck and if anything shows us please let us know.

[sanmagic7]

   i relate to the frustration, even tho i don't deal with the nhs.  it sucks.

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you both, yes frustrating and I feel for those who really can't cope with life, I can plod along as frustrating as it is but I know there's a lot worse than me and just wonder how they keep going.

[SharpAndBlunt]

Yes, I feel that way too. Guess I'm lucky to be able to function to quite a high degree while still feeling this way.

[Blueberry]

I'm sorry, Eyessoblue. I can really understand your frustration.

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you all, I know a lot of you aren't from the uk. In theory the nhs is fantastic and can offer so much, again I'm greatful for what I have received but know again there is so much I haven't received. Again although I'm struggling I know there are so many people in the uk who suffer beyond belief and are failed daily by the system. Not the staff's fault at all, everyone I've seen is human! Empathetic and wants the best, but a limit of 6-12 sessions generally isn't a acceptable, I can see they have to keep the waiting lists moving but from what I know the lack of sessions per person is the downfall. People with cptsd cannot be seen and cured within 6 weeks, it's just ridiculous, why can't people who've suffered with mental health be on the board and point the government in the right direction, it leads to people like myself getting more frustrated and more anxious with no resolution for the problem therefore creating more mental health issues and appointments needed. Mental health needs to start in school. It needs to be a subject just like maths and English are, schools need to provide counselling where children can go and feel validated and listened to with further help available. If children can get this help in their early years they will grow up and be able to cope with life therefore leading to less adult mental health problems. Just wish I could share this and somehow get this noticed, the uk government as no idea about what goes on in 'real life' I so want to get mental health education accepted in daily school education but have no idea how to do so.  Any suggestions from fellow uk people would be greatfully received.

[Blueberry]

I'm not in the UK now, though a long time ago I was. However one thing that could conceivably help a tiny little bit sometime in the future.... is expressing some of this on Kizzie's new blog article The Iceberg is Tipping: What do Survivors need from Professionals/Organisations?

Just a thought.

[Eyessoblue]

Blueberry; yes sounds like a good idea.

[SharpAndBlunt]

Hello again eyessoblue, you may find the following validating, if maybe only tangentially.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/oct/09/world-mental-health-crisis-monumental-suffering-say-experts

For what it's worth I suspect society is moving forward more awareness. I think we are at the beginning of something, unfortunately for us. But we have this forum and other resources. More than was available before.

I completely agree with you on the 12 week courses. I've been on one for CBT and one for mindfulness. While helpful in their own way unfortunately when it comes to cptsd they don't really touch the sides.

To Blueberry, Kizzies blog sounds interesting, thanks for mentioning it.

[Eyessoblue]

Sharp and blunt; thank you for that, it's really validating to have you here as from the uk and experiencing the same problems. Yes I do think these courses are great for those who are suited and I can see huge results in those that have attended, but when you have cptsd you're in another category all together and this is where the frustration sets in, yesterday on the Cbt course I had a complete meltdown and told them that this course was totally moving me backwards and not forwards, I feel like I'm in a far worse place Now then I was a few weeks ago. I told them how I was feeling and no one was getting it. The therapist running the group just sat there and looked at me and said 'oh well that's interesting ' and then carried on with the group, I felt totally patronised and almost disbelieved in the way he said it. I thought he may try to speak to me afterwards but just went on his way so that to me was disappointing.

[Three Roses]

The therapist running the group just sat there and looked at me and said 'oh well that's interesting ' and then carried on with the group

😲😠

[SharpAndBlunt]

I told them how I was feeling and no one was getting it. The therapist running the group just sat there and looked at me and said 'oh well that's interesting ' and then carried on with the group, I felt totally patronised and almost disbelieved in the way he said it. I thought he may try to speak to me afterwards but just went on his way so that to me was disappointing.

Hi. I'm sorry that happened to you. Considering he is a trained mental health professional I would expect more empathy. I find it quite shocking he didn't approach you afterward. I think that's pretty negligent.

I remember at the CBT group I did I was trying to explain a problem i had with one of the exercises. It was something to do with a tunnel and i started feeling claustrophobic. I was told to not overthink it!

[Eyessoblue]

Thank you, it's shocking how these ''professionals ' can act towards you, clearly they have no idea and wear the ;therapist' badge and think they can speak and treat you anyway that suits them- unfortunately not the right way!!

[snailspace]

Sorry to hear of your experience eyessoblue. 
Also from the UK.  A friend is training to be a therapist, the most unlikely person ever to my mind.  She has completed 1 years training with a company which now apparently qualifies her to work as a CBT therapist with the NHS (there is a shortage of trained staff)  as CBT is classed as 'low key'.  Hardly a mentally trained health professional.  Depressing.