i hope this is the right place to put this, i don't know where else to. but i would say i've been having not just exceptionally difficult days, but an exceptionally difficult few months. it feels like i am getting crisis after crisis thrown my way from my family.
in the midst of heavy trauma work in therapy and what seems like a near constant shuffling of my meds thanks to my developing extrapyramidal symptoms towards the beginning of the year, i have had to deal with 1) my sister being an alcoholic who is self-medicating for her undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and who is caught up in a toxic abusive relationship where her narcissistic boyfriend has somehow convinced her that her family has never supported her or given her anything - therefore everything they say or do is wrong and bad. which is funny when she calls sobbing that she's hungry because they spent all their money on booze and they have nothing to eat, 2) my sister out of the blue insisting that i 'abandoned' her in the midst of our childhood being surrounded by our parents' domestic violence, 3) my sister nearly losing custody of my nephew over her ridiculous choices re: the toxic boyfriend, 4) my mother getting spine surgery and suddenly needing me to be a caretaker when i have struggled to even shower some days, 5) feeling so mentally unstable and at the same time inferior and worthless for not being able to return to work as quickly as some people think i should, 6) the newest crisis... my 82 y/o schizoaffective grandmother getting hit by a car over the weekend in a pedestrian vs. auto accident, where the driver who hit her was going 40 mph down a street that is not safe to go 40 down, and nearly dying. we are still waiting to see if the brain bleed she experienced led to traumatic brain injury, she was just taken off the breathing tube today. this was a woman who lived alone and was totally independent. she's certainly not going to have that independence anymore. obviously it's totally tragic, hugely upsetting because i relate to my grandmother in a lot of ways, and especially because family dynamics/ancient grudges (thank you society's still poor understanding of mental illness) have made it so that my grandmother's children are now arguing over what to do with her. it's sad.
i just want the non-stop, repetitive crises after crises to stop. it gets better, right? somebody please tell me it gets better. or at least, that there are coping skills out there that i can use to put up with the neverending crises.