Not Broken

[Elphanigh]

I haven't said or written anything about this as it has been about a week since I realized it. I wanted to make sure it stuck   

Anyways, lots of progress in life. The biggest part is that, for the first time in my life, I can consistently believe and say that I am not broken and never truly was. I went through so much, but survived and accomplished a lot. That is brave and strong, not broken or weak. I did what I needed to in order to live and continue to exist even when it would have been easier not to. Those dark moments weren't a sign of being damaged or broken, they were courageous moments. I had the weight of the world put on my shoulders and managed to hold it, survive it, and come out the other side.

I always thought I was damaged or broken, but those were words from other people. They weren't actually the truth I just couldn't see it then.

This thought has opened a lot of other doors to new ideas and revelations. All really big and kind of spinning around. I haven't completely wrapped my head around all of it, but am getting there.

[Blueberry]

Sounds huge     

[Three Roses]

Wow!  that is fabulous! Good job, you. 

[Elphanigh]

Thanks Blueberry and Three Roses!   

It feels huge. I don't really know how else to describe it. It is freeing me up to make moves towards a career that I have always thought about doing, and to just have a little more faith in myself. Also just a lot more kindness to the younger parts of me that I once truly resented.

[Kizzie]

Wow Elph, way to go you!!                

[Elphanigh]

Thank you Kizzie! It makes me smile super big to be able to celebrate the progress here. You all mean the world to me 

[LilyITV]

 
Elphanigh, thanks so much for posting this.  I am so happy for you!  Reading about your success has made my day and gives me so much hope.  I've just started therapy and I feel so overwhelmed and confused when thinking about what the "end result" of it will be.  What you're experiencing now...that is exactly what I'd like to be able to feel someday... 

[Elphanigh]

LilyITv, I am glad me posting could give you hope for that. I know you will get there, the confusion also passes eventually. I definitely started there and still feel that from time to time. It is hard work but really worth it. This is definitely by no means the end goal for me, but it is a huge step on the way. Opens me up for a lot more inner work and exploration into everything.