Just when you think you're safe...

Ellis · November 26, 2018, 08:32:04 AM

This isn't really new but after talking briefly about it to my therapist today it's brought up some raw emotions.

Trigger Warning - Sexual Abuse
It's been almost a year now since I've moved out of my family's home, such a huge tremendous step. The only way I could do it was to share a house with someone though, with a flatmate. And things were going well and we got along okay for the most part. But it was only recently when my flatmate made a very unwanted sexual advancement on me. I hadn't felt such anger, shame, fear all at once in a long long time. And my stupid body was too frozen and stuck to move for a while - until I finally mustered the strength to run off before it got too far. I locked myself in my room and was scared to leave my room for a few days.

I'm just so frustrated that even when I think I'm safe, I'm not. That something, someone, somewhere - is out to trigger me into fear and anger. I'm so mad that it took me years and years to become totally independent and move from my abusers... yet I still get hurt.

Things between me and my flatmate are okay now, I messaged them quite sternly to NEVER make a sexual advancement on me ever again and they haven't touched me since. I'm so so mad about this

Here's hoping to a time where I'll be able to live on my own, away from everyone, safe.

LilyITV · November 26, 2018, 09:46:58 PM

That's awful!

I would hate to have to live with that person after that. Here's hoping you can get to own place soon.

Ellis · November 26, 2018, 10:43:47 PM

Quote from: LilyITV on November 26, 2018, 09:46:58 PM
That's awful! I would hate to have to live with that person after that. Here's hoping you can get to own place soon.

Thank you for your concern LilyITV. I'm sure I'll be able to do it soon.

Regards,
Ellis.

sanmagic7 · November 27, 2018, 12:43:49 AM

i think you handled that situation really well, ellis. how horrible! it just sucks that this stuff can jump up and bite us when we least expect it. i'm glad you're safe again. love and hugs.

Ellis · November 27, 2018, 02:45:57 AM

Quote from: sanmagic7 on November 27, 2018, 12:43:49 AM
i think you handled that situation really well, ellis. how horrible! it just sucks that this stuff can jump up and bite us when we least expect it. i'm glad you're safe again. love and hugs.

Thank you kindly sanmagic,

It was definitely unexpected, I'm just trying to not let it affect my view of everything and not turn into a paranoid mess.

Regards,
Ellis.