My initial reading of Walker's book was a tad helter-skelter. It made me uncomfortable. Why? It was spot-on and personally relevant, but gut-wrenching to where I could only read a few pages at a time. He didn't get so hung up on the analytical end of things, though it was still thorough. I'd read other books that seemed so tilted to the technical descriptions as to lose the humanity.
When I waded through it later, I shocked myself at a part of the book I'd somehow missed, or at least didn't absorb, on the first reading. Despairing, but identifying with, the downside effects of so much of cptsd, I'd somehow quickly glossed over the positive vibes. In my paper copy (in chapter 6), there's a whole list in a graph opposite the 4 F "negative" descriptions. This "positive" list shows the strengths of each 4F type. Wow--that meant a lot, to realize that it's for sure rough sailing but we all have upsides we may not even notice or give ourselves credit for having.
Sometimes when I feel uprooted and despondent about the down parts, I go to that page and feel better about myself, knowing that yes, there are things about me that's really alright, and that boosts the feeling that at least some of these messy vibes can work out in positive ways as well as the downers we tend to focus on.
Albeit it's still so much work, this recovery ride, but meanwhile (as in right now!) there is this uptick to what's often just gloom, doom, and hopelessness.
