Tourette Syndrom and C-PTSD

[Billy Pilgrim]

Hello,

I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD, a secondary dissociation, and Tourette Syndrom (TS). I can safely say it all started with TS, around the age of 6. Having my body do stuff I absolutely didn't want it to do, and not being able to stop it, put me in a very vulnerable position, seeing myself as "different", to put it mildly. Fortunately my parents were quick to clarify things for me: I was a freak, an embarassment and a disturbance. Add time, but no sugar, and here I am, posting stuff on this website.

(Sorry about that last sentence. One of my more insightful psychiatric evaluations states: "The patient referes to himself with sarcasm." I am still working on that part - particularly when I have to look my TS in the face.)

Anyways, I was wondering if there is anyone else with experiences of TS and C-PTSD. 

[LilyITV]

Billy Pilgrim, I have no insight on TS but just had to say you sound like you have a killer sense of humor!  I hope you don't lose that entirely and able to be more kind toward yourself. 

[Kizzie]

My nephew has TS but I don't know anything about it really (I am NC with my family.)  Is TS caused by abuse and/or exacerbated by it?  In my nephew's case his biological parents were drug addicts and then his adoptive parents -- my B and his wife --were emotionally abusive.  Like you he was dealt a crappy hand of cards to be sure.       

[Billy Pilgrim]

Thanks for the responses above. I am not sure that sense of humor is always helpful, since it keeps me from releasing that ton of anger I am sitting on, but I appreciate your appreciation, LilyITV 

Hi Kizzie, I am very sorry to hear about your nephew. There appears to be very little confirmed knowledge about the causes for TS. I guess having TS just puts you on really thin ice, so to speak. Having tics, You will probably have a much harder time accepting (not to mention loving) yourself. (I have less-than-fond memories of self-harm to punish myself for not being able to comply with my parents demands and STOP ...) Bullying, too, becomes more likely.

Next to the tics, TS (for most, but not all patients), means having extremely high sensory processing. Like having an extremely thin skin. Everything just seems to get through without filtering (just like in Sensory Processing Sensitivity (formerly called Highly Sensitive Person, first discussed by psychologist Elaine Aron).

I gues both aspects make a person extra vulnerable. If there are enough harsh reactions by those around you, C-PTSD might simply become more likely.

[Kizzie]

So very sorry to hear what you went through as a child Pilgrim, I can only imagine what a mountain of anger and hurt you are sitting on    Do you have a therapist who can help you work through that?

Also, do you think that a TS support group might be helpful?  A lot of us with CPTSD feel really different and alone until we join a group like OOTS and come to realize we are not so different after all, that there are many going through what we are.  Just a thought FWIW   

[Billy Pilgrim]

Hello Kizzie,

and thank you for your kind words. I was wondering afterwards if maybe my post was too graphic. I would not want to trigger anyone, so I could change that to "inflicted self-harm". I am not quite sure of what the rules say. Anyways, I do have a therapist, specializing in PTSD and C-PTSD. Now I am bombarding her with literature on Tourette Syndrome - fortunately she is interested in expanding her knowledge :-) I already told her, the day I released my anger I might do some damage to the furniture, and that I'd pay for everything I broke  While I like to put it lightly, I needed her to know that if I started throwing objects around the room, that would not consitute a threat towards her in any way.

I am starting to see this as my support group, and I am starting to find comfort in these small exchanges. In the beginning, part of me (ANP) was afraid my trauma wasn't "severe" enough, some people here have been through so much worse. I am still working on showing myself compassion, but this site helps a lot!

[Kizzie]

I did add a trigger warning to this thread Pilgrim. We do ask that members try to refrain from being too graphic but if you're ever not sure just add a TW to the subject. 

I'm glad you have some professional help  and are feeling comfortable here also 

[Billy Pilgrim]

I modified my original post and took out the graphic stuff. It says "self-harm", now. 

[Kizzie]

   Tk you.