I don't belong

[BeeBeen]

There are no words, how can I introduce myself? I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be anywhere.


"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-

I like reading, so?

So...

I would like to lock up myself in a book, write my story from the beginning with my own will, will-ink, a good blue one like the infinite ocean. It's peaceful to just float and forget about everything, it wash everything away...


I am 22 as far as I remember.

Student, worker... I am by my own.



Chronic PTSD diagnosis from child abuse


Hi everyone

[Ellis]

Hello BeeBeen,

It sounds like you're a bit lost, I can understand that feeling. I hope that you'll find some threads and resources here that will help you, and of course feel free to spill your thoughts - whatever feels comfortable to express.

Regards,
Ellis.

[Three Roses]

Hi, BeeBeen, and welcome! You should be here. You should be. You are. 

[Deep Blue]

  welcome

[Boatsetsailrose]

Bee been
Touched.me  to read your expressions and how it is for you. The deep  shame and abandonment are areas i can v much relate to. What has helped me is developing my spirituality it helps me to have a deeper part of myself that feels.connected and valuable. Outside of the psychology of complex trauma are alive human beings who hold such work and value. We must not disappear on ourselves in spite of these feelings. Being our own compassionate carers is so healing

[SJH]

Hi!

There are no words are there?

Somehow we have to try and find them. I hope you can try and share, you have done the hard part so would love to hear more.

The stories are the things that bind us together so let's all share them..

Good to have you here!

[BeeBeen]

Thank you all,

It's hard, I didn't know it could be so hard to participate...

[Kizzie]

BeeBeen, it took me a bit of time to feel comfortable and safe enough to post much so I can relate.  There's no need to rush, our protective part kicks in to keep us from further harm and so sometimes it can take time for that part of us to see and accept it is safe. 

[Three Roses]

I still go back and forth between feeling completely comfortable posting to being horrified to even consider it.

Only post if you want. I'm glad you're here.

[annagram]

Your writing does a good job of capturing many different feelings.  They are familiar.

[Kage]

Greetings fellow traveler!
You write well!

I wish you a speedy recovery and hope you find what you are looking for.


Atra du evarinya ono varda

[Not Alone]

Welcome. You should be here and I'm glad you are here.

[beingme]

Your journey is your own, no one will deny it here
Go at your own pace