Gaps in memory

Started by Alter-eg0, January 29, 2021, 03:04:37 PM

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Alter-eg0

Hi y'all,

A year or two ago, my parents (who were still together at the time) were organising a party, and they had asked a musician to come an play. My dad said to me: "Maybe you can sing some songs with him." To which I replied: "Maybe, what kind of songs does he play?". And my dad looked at me all confused and said, "You already know, you sang numerous songs with him last time."
At first I didn't believe him, and I was really confused. I had absolutely no recollection of this, until he pulled up the photographs. Even after seeing the photo's, no memories popped up.

Usually when you've forgotten something, you're somewhat aware that there's something you've forgotten. Or the memory can be jogged when someone tells you more about it, or shows you pictures, or whatever.

But recently i've been discovering these 'Gaps' in my memory. People will remind me of something, and I will have no clue whatsoever. Or i'll read through a diary, and have no recollection of the event I've written about, or of writing it in the first place.
I have noticed that quite a few of these things did take place in a time where I was under a lot of stress. For example, that party where I supposedly sang a bunch of songs, took place suring the time that I was admitted to a mental health clinic. But this doesn't go for all of the "memories". Some things are totally random.

It's just a strange and jarring experience, to discover that there are just "holes" in my mind that I never realized were there, and that I can't even seem to bring back the info, even with "help".
It's so weird.

Anyone else experience this?

saylor

I experience something similar. For example, my partner will sometimes tell me that I said something, even just days prior, that I have no recollection of saying (and sometimes, the thing I supposedly said doesn't even feel to me like something I'd say). I also occasionally discover I've robotically gone through the motions of doing things that I don't later recall the experience of, but not to the extent of completely having blanked it out if I'm reminded of it—it's more like I feel like I wasn't entirely "there" while it happened (if that makes sense). In my case, I suspect I experience, at minimum, depersonalization/derealization. I'm definitely somewhere on the pathological dissociation spectrum, anyway

I'm not trying to diagnose you, nor am I qualified to do so, but what you describe sounds a little like Dissociative Identity Disorder to me. DID is not uncommon for people who've experienced trauma

Alter-eg0

Thanks Saylor, I recognize that too. I'm aware that i'm prone to dissociate (not to the extent of DID though). I'm just so used to dissociating in a way that I can still sort of "be there without being there" and still have memory of it, that it's really weird to imagine having missed something completely (or having blocked it out).