I can eat!

[Ellis]

I randomly realised something this morning and it feels so great I had to share.

For the majority of my childhood/teenagehood I didn't have any breakfast to eat - either because of lack of food or because of my food disorder. I believe that this is the cause for what became a 'morning sickness'... as every time I tried to eat anything during the morning, even a small block of chocolate, I'd feel like throwing up. This has NOT helped me with my attempts to gain weight and it got to a point where even just opening the fridge made me sick. There's probably some other reasons as to why I felt sick in the mornings, but I believe my childhood habits is a big factor.

Either way... I realised that - I can't remember the last time I felt sick in the morning! 
This is  HUGE to me because it's something that affected me for years. And now I can wake up and go to a cafe, have a drink and a muffin - and I'll be okay! I checked my weight and it's 48kg's which means I'm just 2kg's away from my goal of not being classed as underweight.

This is progress!

[Libby183]

Well done to you! A huge achievement and one to which I can really relate.

I have been enjoying food and not feeling constantly sick for a while now. Food anxiety and vomiting phobia has been a feature of my entire life. I knew it was directly connected to my mother's use of food to control me, but I was surprised to discover through EMDR therapy that emetophobia is very much a feature of attachment disorder. So it seems to make sense that, for me, healing somewhat from developmental trauma leads to a lessening of the various symptoms.

But whatever the process, it's so lovely to eat and enjoy food. We'll done and keep on eating those muffins!

[Wattlebird]

This is great Ellis
Isn't it nice to notice the improvements and healing process, well done

[Three Roses]

 

[milk]

  Mangia!!!

[LilyITV]

    Awesome!!!  So happy for you!