Today I achieved ..... Part 2

[Kizzie]

Seeing the thread had gone over 5 pages and setting up a Part 2 

[Blueberry]

Today and in the Past Few Days I achieved quite a few major improvements.

Today when continuing to feel sluggish and tired, I felt inspired to wash my very dirty kitchen window and I went on from there to wash all my windows and mirrors. Part way through I had a feeling, almost visceral, of withdrawing into myself but I kept on and I now feel better

On Thursday eve I was going up to the farm but decided before I went that I wanted to actually use the elderflowers I'd picked and partially prepared before they went off completely. There are a number of items of progress in here.

1) I had been accepting myself on Wed. and Thurs. about not getting round to continuing the preparation. No self-haranguing! That ICr. was totally quiet

2) I'd done a few other things on Thurs. whereas last year when I first started making jelly and other stuff with wildflowers and herbs, actually doing so would be the only thing that day (because emotionally so strenuous).

3) I was working against the time, a little bit. It wasn't a real rush, but I did have to make sure I got the last train. Up until now mostly any time constraint and especially deadline has been triggering for me and very stressful. This time it was quite OK. I worked calmly step-by-step. I now have 4 jars of elderflower jelly. 

4) I had been intending to make one small batch into elderflower cordial but I didn't have time for that so froze the mixture in ice-cube trays. Now I realise that for various reasons that should probably not be made into anything. Self-acceptance here too. It's OK. I don't have to be perfect!

5) I realised when I got up to the farm how big this all was because I didn't need to do any EFT! No "I forgive and accept myself even though..." because I had already accepted and forgiven myself.

[Tee]

  yeah blueberry!! have a good time in the farm!

[Three Roses]

 

[Blueberry]

Today in a dream of somebody gaslighting and red herring-ing me I

did not allow myself to be side-tracked but calmly stated that "what we're talking about now is your action of having done..." which had impinged upon me, whereas the red herring impinged on this person in no way at all and had nothing to do with the context.


That kind of red herring was a very FOO form of gaslighting, so this is big progress! I think this is also the first time I've ever spoken that calm, matter-of-fact way using the wording that is recommended.  

[Blueberry]

This evening I:
1) did a load of laundry
2) put the Little Furries out in their garden pen till it went dark
3) did a little bit of clear up in garden (weeding, cutting a few things back, picking up stones etc in my beds)
4) had a cooling, de-itching shower
5) got my hair wet but allowed myself to skip washing it
6) washed some dishes
7) tidied and swept some parts of floor
8 ) while in shower, had image of going for a swim or at least maybe soak in local river, a bit upstream. This means, I'm getting more accepting of own seeming inability to do other things I'd planned for August. I need to do things a little more locally than what I'd planned.

[Not Alone]

Cleaned out some shelves and drawers. Threw a lot of stuff away.

[Blueberry]

I read all about the new 1, 2, 3 thread but realised it's too difficult as yet for me.

[Armadillo]

I can compeltely see why that one would be too triggering for you BB. 

[Blueberry]

In the past 24 hours I:
1) washed my hair and sort of showered
2) took my first meds of the day
3) did a little tiny bit of tidying
4) changed my clothes, all of them
5) hung up the wet laundry
6) set the washing machine going with a separate set of laundry
7) while listening to some of last night's Trauma Conference sessions, I discovered and removed a whole load of dust bunnies from my keyboard

[Blueberry]

1) I made it to my student's on time
2)  I'm pretty much up-to-date on my dish-washing
3) I taught a good lesson

[Blueberry]

1) I did get up eventually
2) I've just been conversing with my Furbabies, for at least the second time today
3) Deleted a bunch of emails (take up emotional space if nothing else)
4) Was out and about in town earlier today and noted what the daylight did for me - it was good for me!
5) Got some food from market and picked up veggie scraps for furbabies
6) Thinking back on it, I did get some very important stuff done yesterday, some of which was deadline stuff too, with financial repercussions
7) I have been altering my ads on ebay to say 'pick up only, I'm not sending anything' and sometimes reducing the price too. More than anything else, this is self-care and being honest.

[Not Alone]

1) Met with someone and received help and important information.
2) Bought groceries.
3) Vacuumed and washed floors.
4) Cleaned stove.
5) Began working on paperwork for mediator. Sent two emails to work to get information.
6) Stopped doing #5 for today when it got to be too much.
7) Began laundry. (Glad I wrote this. I need to throw clothes into the dryer!)

[Blueberry]

  Yay notalone, that's great. Especially #6!

[Blueberry]

1) Made it to occup. T almost on time
2) Enjoyed my cycle there and back
3) Took my iphone type thing to practise using
4) Actually practised instead of distracting myself with talking to therapist exclusively about other progress
5) Took my meds and drank tea before I left house
6) Noticed on way home how I annoyed I am at B2 about his treatment of me especially re: my niece/god-daughter
7) Got a load of laundry in the machine
.................................................... and it's only 1pm - pretty good for this night owl!