Post assessment report

[Libby183]

Hi Rose.

For me, EMDR rid me of the terrible physical pain, but put nothing in its place, other than more anxiety and self-loathing. I think it was the final catalyst  in the breakdown of my marriage. My NHS therapist may have believed she was trauma informed, but the effect on me was too huge for me to cope with.

All the best to you and I look forward to hearing how you move on with this new level of support.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi Libby thank u for sharing ...its helpful to hear both sides ...
Tredding with extra caution seems wise for me

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi all
(Please note this post is written with kindness for the medical system and does not wish to come across with any resentful or them and us stance ).

So i spoke with the nurse assessor yesterday who had written the report post the assessment with the community mental health team (UK). I thanked her for the assessment and said i found it thorough and good but wanted to raise a couple of issues. She acknowledged this and i went on to ask why cptsd had not been mentioned in the report as i had spoken clearly that the consultant in the team had given me this diagnosis last year after i had worked with a specialist trauma psychologist. Also that i had spoken about all the symptoms that happen when i go into ef and had used the worksheets on this site to help me framework my symptoms and written about what happens to me whilst in an episode. Also i questioned that she had put in the formulation that i could possibly have cyclothymia or bi polar 2 and asked how she had come to that conclusion.
Bless her (must be a nightmare having an ex psyc nurse as a patient
She seemed genuinely surprised that i had been diagnosed with cptsd last year and it seemed clear he had not heard this when i said it... She also said her thoughts around it being a mood disorder where just thoughts and that now she knew about cptsd she would look back over the notes which would get her out of it and  she would rewrite the report.
I went onto explain that depression and anxiety were very much part of the cptsd make up and that many people that i have known have these diagnosis but not complex trauma in its own right. I went onto talk about icd 11..
Its been so helpful for me being part of our wonderful forum here learning just how many people get wrong diagnosis and thus miss the chance to push for the most effective treatment . or indeed are pushing to get cptsd recognised by the medical model.

I would like to stress i in no way want or would find it helpful for this post to become a 'them and us' discussion. I really do not want my recovery journey from now to become a 'fight'. From previous learning and experience i don't think this is helpful or gets me anywhere better in terms of getting my needs met.
I know what its like the other side of the table and how pressurised it is. . this women who assessed me is responsible for huge case loads and probably doesn't even have time to go to 'trauma informed training ' let alone read my history throughly enough she is doing the best she can with what she's got.
I def am determined  to come from working in partnership with professionals.. to bring what I've learnt to the table but to remember i am a patient and to remain open minded ...who knows i may have bi  polar 2  or cylothymia but im interested in what the consultant and psychologist assess when i meet them, how those symptoms fit into cptsd framework, what i experience that doesn't seem to fit into cpstd diagnosis and conclusions drawn from proper assessment. At this point I'm.very relieved  that no mention of bpd has occured that would freak me right out .

As my sponsor said this morning concentrate on what you need ,what u are wanting out of being in secondary services and not so much the diagnosis ...and i see this as a good suggestion .

What i want /need
1) support with ef episodes and all that happens when it devastates my world .
2 support with my daily life in general ..
3 acknowledgment of psychological injury by qualified professional s.
4 potential treatment that would aid the injuries and aid my recovery

Plan of action
Meet with care co ordinator next wk for getting to know me sessions and start looking at recovery goals
Meet with consultant for consultation
Meet with psychologist
Get in touch with recovery college

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi all
Today i met with my assigned care co ordinator (mh nurse). I had a lot of anger in me before i went this morning about what ivr lost in terms of potential material success (which isnt even true because im not living the future yet) and had made pre judgements about her b4 we met. I am happy to report that the meeting went really well and i feel she is the right person for me to be working with.such a relief .
She seemed to 'get trauma' and helped me express and deal.with my emotions today , validated me as an ex nurse and offered empathy for my journey. Said she could attend any appointments with me inc welfare and disability assessments and advocate, write letters etc. is making referrals to the psychologist and psychiatrist. My she even is going to help me get a bus pass...

It feels good to get taken care of in this way its been 25yrs to get to this point

[Blueberry]

  So happy for you!

[Kizzie]

now she knew about cptsd she would look back over the notes .... would rewrite the report

It really is all about education and advocating for ourselves until CPTSD is known about more widely versus making it into a fight (although I think there will be times some of us do have to do so in order to get what we need).              

It feels good to get taken care of in this way its been 25yrs to get to this point

So glad you hung in there Boats and are finally getting what you need. Yay you!!!!   

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you both

[Boatsetsailrose]

My nurse talked about the brain being affected with  trauma that was refreshing to hear ....sounds simple but things said like that help me to feel safe ..
Indeed kizzie its one thing I'm.so.proud of myself that i stand up and be my own advocate ...
Feels really good to have this nurse by my side to help advocate too ...she seems a smart, down to earth and personable women

[Eyessoblue]

Hi, just wanted to say, I'm so pleased that hints are moving in the right direction for you, it sounds like you really are getting the correct help. Being from the uk like you it's always interesting to hear how mental health services are helping but it sounds like you are going to get what you need, and I know that it's not easy in the uk with funding and staffing problems. I'm really interested to hear a]how you get on, so really hope you keep posting.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you eyes so blue ...yes it can be quite a thing getting what we need ..a journey ..
Yep def will keep posting

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi all
I've been having a tough time over the  last week after being triggered when the council tax aren't taking responsibility for putting in place the reduction due to me not working . i feel stupid that this has sent me into EF and i can't seem to get out of it ...now im working to not let ic get its way and take me down further ...
I saw the nurse last week and she helped to bring my anxiety down and focus on the things that help. She also is going to contact the council as it just feels too much. I called her today too as i just feel all over the place and am going into perfectionism attacks . this happens when i feel out of control as a way to try and gain a sense of control but it never works. I've been meditating, grounding and did some yoga and do have some greater calm . also she reminded me to just keep the day v simple ...
I hate being like this feel so defective but know its important i love myself within it 

[Kizzie]

Just read this after I responded to another post of yours and asked what you thought had brought on the EF. FWIW I don't think it's stupid at all that the situation triggered an EF, things it's par for the course when we're trying to recover from CPTSD and feel overwhelmed by life's demands. 

Pete Walker has some ideas/thoughts about perfectionism that might be helpful - http://pete-walker.com/shrinkingInnerCritic.htm.  It really resonates with me and I hope it does for you as well.



   

[Blueberry]

I agree with Kizzie there, it's not stupid at all that the situation has brought on an EF. Feeling overwhelmed would have been one of the things most or all of us felt during the traumatic experiences, or maybe some of us didn't feel it, but it would have been there.

for using the tools you know like yoga and grounding. That makes you competent, far from defective!

[Kizzie]

   What BB wrote!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you kizzie and blueberry for your support and kindness means a lot to me .
Pete w words are like gold in these times.