.A successful Christmas or difficult?

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Boatsetsailrose

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.A successful Christmas or difficult?
« on: December 28, 2018, 10:49:53 AM »
Overall I'd like to report a successful Christmas. Saw fam the wk before and time limited it which worked better for me.
Spent Xmas with a friend which was special not without its button pressing but I'm pleased at the progress I'm making in my relating.. Learning healthy boundaries that are strong but with a flex and that I don't need to care take feel responsible for others. This is very freeing as then I have more focus and energy for me.

Positives of Christmas
Being with others
Singing
Dancing
Just being
Being sober and abstinent
Jogging in nature
Church

More difficult
Being around people
Getting resentful
Feeling judged /controlled
Watching my friend be stressed

Be great to hear others experiences..


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LilyITV

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2018, 05:41:15 PM »
Great thread!

Positives:

*Spending Christmas with my immediate family at home.  This is the third year we've had Christmas at our house instead of traveling to my dad's house.  Hard to describe but I feel like this new tradition is now "legitimate" and just as meaningful as the ones I used to have with my parents.
*Feeling genuine contentment and not as much emptiness
*Feeling I'm making progress in my trauma recovery

Negatives:

Struggled big time with depression--I have a lot of issues I'm dealing with all at once that stole a lot of my energy and joy a few days


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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2019, 03:21:50 PM »
Hi lily
Thank you for sharing it's good you hear of your meaningful Christmas with your family and your growth.
I can relate to the low mood and for me i find it helps to really work with my thinking and keep gentle just focusing on today and not the future

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Three Roses

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2019, 05:12:40 PM »
Christmas and new year's were peaceful & mellow. Success! The only negatives are not worth mentioning.

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2019, 06:29:07 PM »
Nice three roses :)

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woodsgnome

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2019, 06:45:44 PM »
Warning -- blue mood ahead.

Out with the old, in with the same.

Which is to say I feel horribly stuck and more like I've regressed in where I thought and/or would want to be. It's like I was nurturing my candle so carefully to see in this tunnel, and now that's extinguished, too. I'm stumbling my way to ... disappointment. Wait -- that's where I was. Add in anger and now I know it's the same territory, just scarier.

Sorry to sound so put out -- except that's my honest experience right now. Did catch myself laughing at myself recently, so maybe humour is indeed my saving grace.

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Hope67

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2019, 07:15:00 PM »
Hi Woodsgnome, Sending you a hug, if that's ok  :hug:  I hope you find some more light to see your way in the tunnel - I am offering you a light if you'd like one.  Also, humour can be a saving grace - and be kind to yourself - I hope you don't mind my saying that - I just want to send you a supportive word or two.
Hope  :)

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2019, 07:37:05 PM »
Hi hope
Ah yes woodsgnome i hear you ..and yes important we speak our truth..
Christmas or no Christmas we often need extra support and guidance ..
Self care and more

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blues_cruise

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2019, 02:35:36 PM »
I'm so glad some of you had a successful Christmas and to those who didn't, I just want you to know that you're not alone. Mine wasn't good. Second year no contact with uNF and this year was harder than the first for some reason. I had zero enthusiasm and couldn't be bothered with any of it. It's been topped off with a hearty bout of the flu too.  :'(

I want this year to be different though. I intend to leave my part time job in the next few months to concentrate on my self-employed work, which will mean my own hours and more time for self-care. I think much of the problem before Christmas was that I was overworked and getting too tired. Hopefully in 11 months time I'll be in a different mindset. 

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Rainagain

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2019, 07:35:36 PM »
Mine wasn't great, but wasn't terrible.

Spent alone again, but that's not too bad really.

I'm OK with simple avoidance of the terrible, like that is some great achievement.

If you set the bar so low that it's lying on the ground then almost anything becomes OK, adequate, acceptable.

If I knew how I'd put the emoji face with a perfectly horizontal line for a mouth here!

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2019, 09:39:44 PM »
Blues cruise best wishes for your new self employ ment ...yes ive def found how i work and what i do is so important and that self care is no 1

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2019, 09:41:33 PM »
Hi rain
Low expectations work well.for me too ...
I found helping others this Christmas really helped me
Beat wishes for your recovery

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blues_cruise

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2019, 01:11:51 PM »
Blues cruise best wishes for your new self employ ment ...yes ive def found how i work and what i do is so important and that self care is no 1

Thank you.  :) That's absolutely it, I work in an office currently and it's just not for me anymore. Far too claustrophobic and too many triggers!

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2019, 05:03:04 PM »
I hear you ! Offices and computers oh Lord i nearly went mad ...so draining ..
I love that about recovery many of us as we learn we matter and are important change how we live our lives ...caring for ourselves more and not so many 'i shoulds

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Boatsetsailrose

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Re: .A successful Christmas or difficult?
« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2019, 05:06:45 PM »
Im going to train to be a barber when im well enough ... I have up my nursing career in October (which was very official based ....feels good to be free ee