No Idea How to Proceed After Leaving School

[feyre24]

How have you survived employment with CPTSD? I was in my PhD, went to in-patient treatment in the summer, came back and took medical leave from my program, and I could go back in August and restart my second year, but my therapist doesn't think I should go back to that stressful lifestyle.

Meanwhile, I have to pay the bills and keep healthcare, so I got a retail job and some online freelancing writing jobs. I have no idea what to do. I feel like if I don't go back to school I may regret it for the rest of my life and if I do go back I may regret it for the rest of my life. I barely know the new, healing me. I have no idea how to proceed. I don't know how to pull self confidence up to make this decision.

[Three Roses]

I'm retired now, but I used to work for temp agencies a lot. The assignments being temporary, you don't have to stay long enough to get to know anyone.

When I did stay at a job, it was never longer than a few years. I always quit. Just couldn't handle the stress. I used to think, "what's the matter with me", but ofc now I know.

[Sceal]

Could you prolongue your sick leave for your education for a bit longer?
I think it's incredible that you're getting a Phd. I couldn't handle the stress of a regular bachelor. It was hard for me to accept that I had to quit, and sometimes still, Im quite sad about it. But what helped me was to ask myself the question: "Did I work as hard as I could to make the studies work for me?" and "Is it worth ruining my health further?" when I could finally say yes to the first and no to the second, the guilt, sadness, regret and shame started to dissipate. And after handing in the notice to the school I felt relief. But this was how I did it and felt, it might not be the same for you. This just happened less than a year ago, so it's still fresh.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi feyre
How are you doing ....
I've learnt a lot about stresssors over the years and how they can impact me..
A usual exercise could be to write down what are the stressors of doing the PhD and what areas do u find easier and then the more difficult ..
Look at what helps with the stress and things that are, could be in place to support u ..
Here in the UK universities are now getting much better at offering mental health support for students ..
I would think it also depends on how much you reach out for support with your peers and tutors and how much you can step out of studies and have fun relax etc.
I loved being at uni it was then the responsibility of the career that i struggled with (but did amazingly last 10yrs... What subject are u studying ?
Taking further  time out of course is a further option- to resume studies when you have done some more healing ?

For me stressors need to.be kept lower and for me to be careful what i take on..
By the same token we are intelligent able.and bright people with much potential and i feel its important to have chances to fill that keeping in the forefront our mental and emotional health and self care