New year and self.care

  • 8 Replies
  • 98 Views
*

Boatsetsailrose

  • Member
  • 1185
  • Hello welcome - so glad I am here and you are too
    • View Profile
New year and self.care
« on: January 01, 2019, 03:52:53 PM »
Hi all
Just wanted to write about it being a new year and how we look ahead but keep self caring ..
I like the feeling of a new year , the hope and feeling that this year could be an easier one. At the same time i know as we all do the realities of living with cptsd and just how much of our reserve that takes..

This year i am looking to development further a loving relationship with myself , one which brings more balance in what i do and how i relate to myself. Im also looking at new job plans (slowly and also continuing to get the support i need around my diagnosis and mental health.

Be nice to hear how everyone else doing and views of a new year

*

the mirliton

  • Member
  • 49
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #1 on: January 01, 2019, 04:37:32 PM »
Boatsetsailrose,
I used up all I had (therapy bag of tools for self care) to try and finish 2018 ok, that's all I wanted was to just feel ok. I am starting out this year already depleted of any desire to "carry on". Hope? I am just weary of it all...working so hard to not feel like I am drowning in all of the mud that is my life.  This past year has been difficult, I visit OOTS often, however usually I am feeling such self loathing that my shame keeps me from being able to reach out, without fear that I will be punished, ridiculed or ignored for just being me, and even writing this post is draining me. Pretty pathetic self-talk since this is the one place where that would not happen.  I don't want to start the year out feeling this way.
I thought I was ready to embrace the good. I am not. Another year of being me? Nope.
I am so very tired.

*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 2005
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2019, 05:08:29 PM »
(the mirliton  :hug:)

The first day of each new year always feels so fresh and hopeful to me. This year is going to bring some changes - good ones that I know about, and I'm sure there will be others I am not anticipating. Such is life.

I'm hopeful this year also brings good changes to all of us here on this forum - every one of us.

*

Boatsetsailrose

  • Member
  • 1185
  • Hello welcome - so glad I am here and you are too
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2019, 06:12:03 PM »
The mirliton i hear you i really do..
I was I'm a similar place a few months ago and the shame/ self hate was on me with what seemed my everything breath and movement. Ive been free of it now for a couple of months ..
How I see it now is that this part of the trauma keeps playing and exposing itself as a way to heal it...i did some therapy around it and i found drawing what it looked like helpful and then did some work to realize it is very fearful and exerts itself in a way to try and gain power. It really has been /is about developing the compassionate and stronger sense of self inside of me that knows .
However, i  know this isn't as easy as it may sound and the self hate and critical is really upsetting, draining and lonely. Living with an inner abuser is tough and i remember saying to my t 'this is worse than how it was originally '.
I do believe wholey that we can heal this ...with the right help..
Is your therapy helping ?


*

Boatsetsailrose

  • Member
  • 1185
  • Hello welcome - so glad I am here and you are too
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2019, 06:13:07 PM »
Three roses ..
That's good to hear about good changes a positive and nice place to be

*

Hope67

  • Member
  • 1405
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2019, 07:16:47 PM »
Hi Rose, I just wanted to wish you the best for the New Year - and I hope to come back and read this thread later in the week, as I can contemplate what you've said, and think about it - thankyou for a thought-provoking thread, and thinking about self care at this time of year - it's a good thing.
Hope  :)

*

Boatsetsailrose

  • Member
  • 1185
  • Hello welcome - so glad I am here and you are too
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2019, 07:38:36 PM »
Hi hope
Thank you happy new year to you ...
Yes self care so important hey ..be good to hear you

*

the mirliton

  • Member
  • 49
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2019, 03:56:12 AM »
Hello Boatsetsailrose,
I did not even wish you (and everyone else) a Happy New Year! I am doing better, and appreciate the positive outlook(s) that you have shared as well as Three Roses. I finally was able to start back with my therapist after being unable to see him for quite a few months.  I, too am looking to improve my relationship with myself. While I was at the DBT Institute for weekly group/and individual sessions, we always started off with a "Loving Kindness" practice (Metta) I somehow stopped doing it, and now realize how spending just 13 minutes each morning really can be positive foundation for the day (it can only help right?) I appreciate everyone on this forum  :grouphug: it helps me so much to be able to reach out and communicate (or not) perhaps get an idea or two on coping with CPTSD and know that I am not alone.
Here's to New Year worthy of celebration!

*

Boatsetsailrose

  • Member
  • 1185
  • Hello welcome - so glad I am here and you are too
    • View Profile
Re: New year and self.care
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2019, 11:14:33 AM »
Hi mirliton
Good to hear you are doing better and getting the support..
The dbt sounds interesting and an area i have thought of in my own recovery ...i don't know a lot about it and would be interested to find out how it can help.with cptsd ...i find having specialist support so important and 1-1 can be a real safety net for me
Happy new year