Trying to understand emotions after gaslighting..?

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LittleBirdy

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Trying to understand emotions after gaslighting..?
« on: January 02, 2019, 07:31:46 AM »
Learning to feel my emotions has been so hard, but so worth it! I feel like Iím so hard on myself for feeling negative emotions. I guess lately what Iíve been struggling with is figuring out what is irrational and what is a feeling most would feel. After being gaslit for so many years and being made to feel like Iím crazy itís so freeing to realize that my feelings have a purpose, negative feelings tell me that something is wrong and I need to listen to it. Also, after spending so much of my life miserable beyond belief, Iím so scared of being miserable for the rest of my life like my mom was so Iíve been thinking 10 years ahead and Iím aware most donít do that. Iím just having trouble telling what is rational and what isnít and what I should worry about and what I shouldnít, you know?

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Wattlebird

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Re: Trying to understand emotions after gaslighting..?
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2019, 09:37:50 AM »
Yes I struggle with what is rational and not as well, after being gaslit, I'm often surprised when my t says it's a perfectly rational response or opinion, when I think I'm losing my mind. I'm just glad my ex pushed me into therapy so I could see the reality of the situation. I certainly needed therapy. I struggle most when people tell me different opinions than mine, I often assume I'm the one that's wrong and can't work out what is the truth of the matter. Argh
Not fun

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Kizzie

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Re: Trying to understand emotions after gaslighting..?
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2019, 08:00:33 PM »
It is a struggle LittleBirdy or so I found, but it did get better and over time I found myself thinking more often, "Going to trust my gut on this one" when I encountered someone gaslighting.  It just gets better and easier to trust your perceptions and that is so liberating and wonderful I agree. Keep countering that GLing & building trust in yourself, all good  :yes:

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Libby183

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Re: Trying to understand emotions after gaslighting..?
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2019, 07:28:33 AM »
I know exactly what you mean, Little Birdy. Especially the bit about being miserable all your life, and being scared of this, just like our mothers.

My husband's decision to divorce me marks a point where I must start fully embracing my feelings. I focused too much on his, because of my history of emotional abuse.

I hope so much that we can get there. To trust ourselves because we have never been able to trust anyone else.

All the best.

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LilyITV

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Re: Trying to understand emotions after gaslighting..?
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2019, 03:59:30 PM »
LIttleBirdy, yes I struggle with negative emotions too.  I loved how you phrased it--that negative emotions are trying to tell us something.  I'm at the point too where I'm learning to recognize my emotions, but now my struggle is figuring out what to do with them.  The negative emotions seem to be all powerful and all consuming.

Also, this part you wrote "so Iíve been thinking 10 years ahead and Iím aware most donít do that."  It's mind blowing to me to think that most people don't do this.  I'm always thinking ahead to all possible negative outcomes, busy thinking of solutions to problems that in all likelihood will never come into being.