I don't know.... ramblings of a depressed person

[Confused75]

My body feels beat up and everything just takes a lot of effort to do and I feel exhausted after doing even 1 simple thing. Not even crying helps.
Feel like I'm missing part of myself and I don't even know what that part is or how to get that gone part back. It just feels gone.
Feel like the black plague of people's lives. My therapist told me I need to stop seeing myself as a burden to others, but it's all I know, it's all I ever have been.
Keep wanting to reach out but find myself unable to write even though I connect with so many people who post on this board.
I don't know. Feel like I need a nap now.
Sorry and thank you

[Kizzie]

Keep wanting to reach out but find myself unable to write even though I connect with so many people who post on this board.

Seems to me you just did (reach out)    FWIW as you begin to see that members here get it and can relate to how you're feeling, that you're safe and supported you may find it does get easier. I could barely post when I first started at our sister site Out of the FOG and when I did I would need a nap afterwards too.  It's part of the CPTSD so I hope you keep posting if even just short ones.  Therapy and posting helped me to lift out of the depression and darkness and I hope the same will be true for you.   

[LilyITV]

  It's so hard when you've experienced abuse to realize that people love you and want to help you. 

[LilyITV]

Oh and just came back on to note, many youtube gurus would say that you are not a "depressed person", but a person who is just having depressed feelings at the moment.  A meaningful distinction.

[beingme]

I am only new here but just being able to do random posts when I feeling emotional really helps me. I feel very drained at the moment and crying alot. Knowing I am not alone in this journey helps. As human beings we need to express ourselves.


I feel at times it will never get better, but the fact you are seeing a therapist and posting on here means that even if you don't feel it, it is moving forward, it may just be a slight shuffle forward but it is still forward.