Discovery Journal

[Not Alone]

We had a nice dinner and then went to a pub to hear live music. I really let my hair down! I danced and laughed and interacted with others who were there, strangers to me - and had no trouble with the fact I was "visible" (if that makes sense).

Yes, that does make sense. Glad you were able to have a good time. Sorry the shame hit you. I wish I could stamp it out for you. You are worthy to have a good time and there is nothing wrong with being noticed.

[Three Roses]

Hope, notalone - your responses made the tears flow. Thanks!  ❤️

[Jazzy]

That sounds great Three Roses, I'm really glad you were able to get the most out of that moment. Take care!

[SharpAndBlunt]

Hi Three Roses, so happy you were able to have a boogie and let your hair down! You are worth it and totally deserving of a happy and safe time 

I'm glad you were able to have such a good interaction with your friend too. That's encouraging for me 

Sorry to hear about the shame attack, maybe that will be a thing that fades and reduces over time 

[sanmagic7]

3r, i love your affirmation!  it's so very true.  sorry you were hit w/ shame, but i give you so much credit for laughing, having fun, and being 'seen' (i do know what you mean).  the fact that you did all that good stuff allows me to believe that you'll be able to do it again and again, and the shame will wither as you keep showing it that you have the power and you're taking it away from everything that caused the shame in the first place.  a warrior indeed!   

taking back our power, it's so important, and little by little, we're frickin' doing it!      that's for us, all of us.

love you, 3r, and here's a hug filled w/ 'shame away' spray!   

[Hope67]

  to you Three Roses.
Hope 

[Three Roses]

It's been a while since I wrote here. July 2nd marked the absence of Prozac in my system for the first time in over thirty years. Days swing between smooth and rough but at least I can say that whatever I'm feeling, it's me and it's honest.

Today was rough. I wanted to use dysfunctional habits to cope but didn't. Dr E said that I can be prescribed other meds, antidepressants and/or anxiety meds. I almost called today to ask for the clonazepam she recommended. I still may, will see what tomorrow brings.

[sanmagic7]

hey, 3r - that's quite an accomplishment.  i've got about 20 yrs. of clonazepam or alprazolam (xanax) under my belt.  mostly for sleep, but also for anxiety.  i found xanax better for anxiety - it's like the clonazepam calms my brain, but the other calms my mind. 

congrats to you for not going back to neg. habits.  i know how tough that can be, but i give you a lot of credit.  hope tomorrow's better for you.  wishing you all the best w/ this stuff, always.  sending love and a hug filled w/ calm and stability.   

[Hope67]

Hi Three Roses,
That's really great that you're free of your meds, and that you're feeling yourself - and that it's honest.  I also hope that tomorrow is better for you - and I would also like to send you much love and a hug 
Hope 

[Not Alone]

Today was rough. I wanted to use dysfunctional habits to cope but didn't.

That is a victory.

[Blueberry]

 

Way to go 3R!   

[Three Roses]

Thanks, everyone. Don't have the energy to thank each of you individually this morning.

Anxiety today (so far) and yesterday is off the charts. I'll be contacting Dr E today to see about that klonopin. Wanted to do this without meds but I'm tired of struggling - and it's only been 3 months. 

[Wattlebird]

I'm sorry to hear that 3r, having strong anxiety is really crippling, I hope the meds work for you.

Wb

[Not Alone]

Sorry to hear that your anxiety is so high. I know that feels horrible. I know you didn't want to take meds, but if that is a tool that will be helpful right now. . . .do what is best for you.

[Sceal]

Going off medications can be really rough. Maybe it's worth calling her for that other medication.