Discovery Journal

Started by Three Roses, January 24, 2019, 05:37:04 AM

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Three Roses

#480
Thanks, all.

🥀🥀🥀

When I feel the way I'm feeling today, talking to people, responding, writing ... all create an increased heart rate, teariness, lump in the pit of my stomach, fear, sweating. I'm frequently anxious, but interaction with humans heightens my anxiety. No matter who it is.

The last couple of days have been rough. I'm very good at putting on a brave face and not letting people see what's going on inwardly. Self protection, I know. I hide behind a wall of information; a distraction, a trail of bread crumbs, to mislead and distract from seeking or seeing the person I am. At the heart of these past couple of days' worth of rocky terrain is the belief that if I am known intimately I will be rejected.

I'm Nguyen going back and forth between "what happened to me was truly bad" and "you didn't have it so terribly".

I know this is just a blended part, and later I won't feel these things. It's hard to know how I feel when I feel so many diametrically opposed emotions.

I'm trying to just post this without editing for grammar, spelling and punctuation....

(edited for grammar, spelling and punctuation lol)

Blueberry



Tee


Not Alone



Snowdrop

I was just thinking of you, and wanted to say :wave: and :hug:.

Tee

 :hug: thinking of you 3R hope you are well. :hug:

sanmagic7


Hope67

Hi Three Roses,
I was thinking of you, so popped over to say hello.  Hope you are well.  Sending you a hug  :hug:
Hope  :)

Three Roses

Hello, good people of this forum! :wave:

My antidepressant is doing its job, I'm happier for the most part and feeling more balanced. Something else I credit for the shift in me is Internal Family Systems Therapy. Due to covid and other things I'm not in therapy, but I'm finding that using just the basics of IFS that I understand has given me the ability to better deal with triggers, usually before I even experience a debilitating flashback.

I hope each and every one of you - those I know and those I don't - are doing well.

Hope67

Hi Three Roses,

:cheer:  I am so glad to hear that your antidepressant is doing its job, and that you're happier for the most part and feeling more balanced.  That is great.  Also that IFS is helpful.  So many positives in what you wrote, and so nice to hear that you're ok.  I have thought about you often, and wondered how you're doing.

Big hug to you  :hug:

Hope  :)

Three Roses


Tee

 :cheer: :hug: welcome back 3R I'm glad you are doing well and your antidepressants are doing their job. Miss hearing from you!  :hug:

woodsgnome

 :)  :cheer:  :thumbup:   :hug:   :hug:

Missed you, but so glad to hear of your good journeying. Sometimes we just wander, but there's so much to heal, it's a wonder, and joy, that we can somehow find solid steps forward.

That you've done so is wonderful news, and inspiration for others that sometimes we can turn the corner and there it is -- a new life and better prospects for dealing with the old story.

Thanks for stopping back here with the encouraging update.