Discovery Journal

  • 108 Replies
  • 1742 Views
*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 2297
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #90 on: June 12, 2019, 04:26:09 PM »
Ok - more observations - memory is a little worse - but my interest and attention span have improved to the point where I am reading, comprehending and retaining things better, and can watch a movie the whole way thru too. Part of the "more energy" piece I guess.

*

Hope67

  • Member
  • 1569
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #91 on: June 12, 2019, 05:17:49 PM »
my interest and attention span have improved to the point where I am reading, comprehending and retaining things better, and can watch a movie the whole way thru too. Part of the "more energy" piece I guess.

 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

 :hug:
Hope  :)

*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 2297
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #92 on: June 14, 2019, 09:55:56 PM »
No need for responses, just keeping track of my overall observations as the antidepressant leaves my system.

Low mood today - depressed, low energy, irritable. Chart (at https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/going-off-antidepressants) says it is half out of your body in 4-6 days and 99% out in 25 days. I went on half dose on May 24, June 7 was the last dose.

Just trying to take it easy today. I'm trying to ignore my ICr listing all the duties I'm shirking.

*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 2297
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #93 on: June 22, 2019, 05:06:30 PM »
Spent the day yesterday, or most of it, doing normal things like going to a dentist appointment and shopping - evidently that was too much for me as I got very, very depressed after coming home and later woke up screaming in the middle of the night, from a nightmare.

I'm going to spend the day resting. I'm not going to take responsibility for others and their feelings or responses. If I need to rest, I need to rest. I don't need to worry if anyone else sees my need or agrees with me. Sometimes their disapproval is all in my imagination so I'm just giving myself permission to "check out" today.

*

Tee

  • Member
  • 65
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #94 on: June 22, 2019, 05:38:38 PM »
Hugs resting sounds nice. Enjoy your day! :hug:

*

Blueberry

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • 5228
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #95 on: June 22, 2019, 05:48:30 PM »
Have a good rest, 3R!  :zzz: :zzz:  :hug:

*

notalone

  • Member
  • 332
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #96 on: June 23, 2019, 01:44:03 AM »
Glad you are taking care of yourself .

*

sanmagic7

  • Member
  • 5488
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #97 on: June 23, 2019, 04:16:53 AM »
been thinking of you.    :wave:   with you all the way w/ this - weaning off can be a trial.   :hug:  sending love and understanding.

*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 2297
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #98 on: June 24, 2019, 03:55:20 AM »
Such rough, rough days. Really fighting the depression. I'm hoping this is just temporary and there's an upswing soon, then maybe a stable mood in-between because I won't be able to stay off antidepressants if this is what is going to feel like.

*

sanmagic7

  • Member
  • 5488
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #99 on: June 24, 2019, 04:28:28 AM »
standing right beside you with this, 3r.  i hope it's temporary, too.  love and  :hug: :hug: :hug:

*

Tee

  • Member
  • 65
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #100 on: June 24, 2019, 05:45:23 AM »
Hope you can find the light at the of your tunnel soon. And then the sun shines on you for a while. I greatly appreciate you wisdom and support here.  I hope you feel my heartfelt hug. :hug:

*

SharpAndBlunt

  • Member
  • 201
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #101 on: June 24, 2019, 12:47:46 PM »
Three Roses I want to send you a hug today  :hug:

I know this feeling of depression and if coming off the medication is too hard please don't feel like you have to soldier on without it.

There are days when now I am seeing an upside to being off medication but it took a long time for the mood to stabilise (though not sure stable is a good word to describe me right now) and it feels fragile. Self care is where its at. There are days when I still feel absolutely awful.

Remembering that healing is a process helps me with that.

 :grouphug:

*

Three Roses

  • Member
  • 2297
  • CPTSD is an injury, not an illness.
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #102 on: June 24, 2019, 03:29:50 PM »
San, Tee, S&B - your responses lifted my spirits. Thanks so much!  :grouphug:

*

woodsgnome

  • Member
  • 1405
  • I did not wish to live what was not life
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #103 on: June 24, 2019, 05:01:20 PM »
If I may, I'd like to reiterate a couple of points made by SharpAndBlunt, specifically noticing that, first, stability isn't necessarily always a good thing; it just feels better at certain times, sometimes radically so. We're sure we're on our way out of the muck our life threatens to get mired in.When we come out of the pit, we assume we've landed okay, but that's only the start, the next stepping stone on a treacherous trail; perhaps there's even a swinging bridge effect for a while. Scary stuff.

So perhaps even feelings aren't meant to be right/wrong, black/white progressive traits. They could be, though, and for those traveling the cptsd emotional wilderness they  can be terribly problematic.

The 'to do' options seem to waver, especially in the transition zone between meds and other attempts to soothe the instability, and as SharpAIf ndBlunt also observes: "healing is a process." I guess if it weren't -- even the up and down parts -- there wouldn't be much healing. Healing isn't automatic, apparently; and the work it takes to stay on track likewise has options -- relief or mucking along. But if we don't muck along we might miss the next step in healing.

Keep on keeping on, Three Roses.  :hug:

I hope it was okay to butt into your journal like this.

*

Jdog

  • Member
  • 917
    • View Profile
Re: Discovery Journal
« Reply #104 on: June 24, 2019, 05:56:15 PM »
3Roses-

I canít speak from the perspective of being on or off medications or the transitions therein, but I will just add that I admire your courage and conviction in this difficult time.  Healing is circular, not linear, it seems.  I like what Woodsgnome says about not assuming that feelings are a real guidepost to where we are along the path.  And, they do change. 

Hang in there, buddy.  We are here listening and encouraging you. :hug: