Working towards dating

[Albnsc2012]

I have been working very hard on therapy. I was abused by my maternal grandmother,my mother, and bullied by my younger sister. There was sexual abuse by mother and a few men she knew. This caused me to be afraid of "relations" with men, like, I didn't have heterosexual sex until last August at 50. But,anyways..... I want to have a healthy relationship someday and that is one of my goals.

I can't help feeling less than. My therapist has and does tell me I am smart and likeable. I just don't believe it. He even encouraged me to take an IQ test just to see how I would do. (130) LOL. I feel I am too old, too broken, too much wrong with me. When I am told I'm pretty I doubt it. Is there any hope.?

[Three Roses]

Yes, I think there is a lot of hope. There are many new and exciting discoveries being made about the brain and its ability to heal.

You are not less-than. This is a lie that has been perpetrated on you. Through no fault of your own you've been made to feel this way. But, the way you feel does not affect your true worth. Your value as a human being exists apart from your feelings.

You are still worthy of love, respect, safety, and happiness, even tho you may not feel you are.

You can rewrite your story. The beginning is outside of your ability to change but the rest is entirely within your power to influence.

My best wishes to you as you continue your journey of self-discovery. I hope to hear more from you. 

[Wattlebird]

 
I agree with 3r, there is hope, working through all this in therapy is a lot of work and pain but if you are willing and have a decent therapist  (which it sounds like you do )  then there is a path to healing. Good luck