Considering dating (TW)

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Sceal

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Considering dating (TW)
« on: February 07, 2019, 05:44:14 PM »
I am considering starting to date again this year. I say again, but truth is I've never dated.  My first relationship was sexually abusive and I never unlearned or recovered from that.

I would like to not be alone, but I dread physical contact. I don't understand how people who have suffered SA and R Are able to learn to like,/enjoy/love sex again, how can I do this?

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Blueberry

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Re: Considering dating (TW)
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2019, 08:35:04 PM »
I don't know either Sceal. I'm now good with physical contact so long as there's nothing sexual about it, in fact I've been pretty good with that for a long time. I once asked a CSA survivor in one of my numerous inpatient stays how she managed to have a boyfriend. She said that he didn't touch her, that's how.

I've never dated either. I'm even frightened of the word, of the concept.

I hope there are others on here who can give you more helpful information.

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Sceal

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Re: Considering dating (TW)
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2019, 08:57:13 PM »
I don't think I would be lucky to meet a man who would be satisfied with only cuddles and  never really getting any sex.

I can do hugs and pat on the shoulder and nudging and such - by the right people. Sometimes I really really need a hug or someone to just hold me or my hand, but I can't ask anyone for those things. So they rarely happen.

But for the future, how can I go on dates with people knowing I can't give them intimacy on that level? Wouldn't that be the definition of "stringing them along"? I don't want to do that.

I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.