Becoming overly attached

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smile5

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Becoming overly attached
« on: February 05, 2019, 05:03:15 PM »
I apologise for posting about this difficulty. I am just at a loss as to how to deal with this. I briefly mentioned this in my introductory post. My issue being that since a young child I have got attached very quickly to certain females. Usually people like teachers/sports coach/doctors/therapists, the list can go on.

I don't want this to continue because I hate myself for it. I wish it was something I didn't experience. I have done a lot of thinking of where this has come from and can only see a link between the relationship I have had with my mum. I have almost no memories about our relationship from before 11 years old, so can only look at it since then. This attachment started before I was 11 years old as I can clearly remember it happening with certain teachers.

So my difficulty is I can on a logical level see I am looking for care/nurture, but I cannot stop it from happening. It is like it happens automatically. I would do anyting to stop this.


The reason I am struggling with this is that there is a professional who I have seen for over a year and we have built up a good working relationship. They have seen me through some really awful times and I can talk to them openly (as is possible). Now I constanlty worry about something bad happening, them leaving, someone dying in their family, just them not being there anymore. The working relationship will eventually end, which I am very scared about. I know eventually I will move on, but when this first happens I fall apart and cannot cope at all. I actually struggle so much I don't feel like I can carry on. Which sounds ridiculous when you think of it.
 

I fear this so much. Why cannot I just move not move on from this. I have been trying so hard to change things and recognise I need to connect to different things around me.


I guess I am just wondering if anyone understands or has experienced this. I just don't know how to move on with it. This problem with attachment I hardly ever been able to talk about whilst in therapy. I am just at a loss. I want to stop hating myself and I want to not feel so awful at the thought of ending relationships.

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Dee

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Re: Becoming overly attached
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2019, 01:57:11 AM »

I'm attached to my therapist.  I think part of it for me, is that it is an uneven relationship.  She sees and doesn't judge all of me.  I only get a glimpse of her.  I don't get to see her faults (I know they are there) so it makes her on a different level to me.  I know therapy isn't forever and the attachment will break.  I also know that a skilled therapist will do this carefully and slowly.