Blocked

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Gromit

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Blocked
« on: February 09, 2019, 06:14:54 PM »
I received another email this week, in my junk folder because it was to tell me enF was changing his email address so it had not been recognised, however, I check my junk folder because important things I do want, or need, to see, go there too.

So, as I saved the details I had the option to block but didn't.
However, just the message, with the comment about it being at least 10 years since he had seen me or mine unsettled me, it unsettled me at work too which I do not need. I saw other people in other groups online posting the messages they get and suddenly realised the content of the messages I get, it is all about him, how he feels, what he thinks, what has happened to him. Do I even want to know if they die?

I open the messages hoping that there might be something different, an acknowledgment of the situation, an apology.

I feel the urge to respond and say, 'why do you think you haven't seen me for 10 years? Have you actually tried to see me? You only moved away 6 years ago, and my sister has told me you have made visits back to this area, you could have tried. You could have answered the questions that I have asked you. Why is 10 years anymore important than 5 or 6?'

But, to respond would be to feed, to acknowledge. To play the game again.

So now, I have blocked the old email and the new one and I would have to use the desktop PC to change that.

I just needed to tell someone, someone who would understand.
G

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Blueberry

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Re: Blocked
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2019, 07:00:10 PM »
Sending  :hug: :hug: and compassion since I deal with these types of FOO games as well. I hope writing this helped you and that you're feeling a bit more settled? Or that you'll settle more as the weekend progresses?

Good on you for deciding when enough is enough and blocking.

When I have urges to send responses to FOO, I often write a Recovery Letter on here and that actually seems to help. Might help you too? Or maybe blocking is enough. Idk because I haven't taken that step yet.

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Kizzie

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Re: Blocked
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2019, 07:24:55 PM »
So sorry to hear your enF reopened old wounds Gromit  :grouphug:

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Three Roses

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Re: Blocked
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2019, 07:57:39 PM »
 :hug:

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Gromit

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Re: Blocked
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2019, 06:51:42 PM »

When I have urges to send responses to FOO, I often write a Recovery Letter on here and that actually seems to help. Might help you too? Or maybe blocking is enough. Idk because I haven't taken that step yet.

Thanks Blueberry, I have taken a first look at that section, I avoided it before because of my own assumptions about what it might contain. I have read some unspent letters to your F, it sounds so familiar, I too grieved for my F a long time ago, although he is still alive and, at the time, I was still in the Storm. I may well post the things I want to say there in future.

G