Over sharing?

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LittleBirdy

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Over sharing?
« on: February 14, 2019, 04:45:22 AM »
I have this relatively new partner, and he is so amazing, so sweet. He has never been abused so I try to avoid talking about my past traumas I just feel like itís IMPOSSIBLE to not talk about it when itís basically always running in the back of my mind. He swears up and down that me talking about it doesnít bother him and he doesnít mind it if it helps me to get it out of my system, I just donít want to over burden him. I have a therapist, and I get all of my darkest thoughts out there, but still. I donít want him to feel drained by me, Iíve been on the receiving end of these things many times and itís not fun. I hate that this happened, I just wanna go back in time and fix everything so that I wouldnít have this today. But I do and I want him to know whatís going on with me but also donít want to have our time together be too negative. Ugh! Help  :fallingbricks:

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Three Roses

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Re: Over sharing?
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2019, 01:59:56 PM »
Imo this would be an excellent thing to bring up to your therapist. The fact that he's relatively new must add to your feelings of trepidation and caution that exist in any relationship. If it were me, I would want to go slow, and let things come up on their own. Best wishes to you in this.

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notalone

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Re: Over sharing?
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2019, 06:23:17 PM »
I'm glad you have someone that you feel you can trust. I understand the fear of burdening someone. I feel that with my friends. I'm not sure what you are sharing, but perhaps more general information, for example, "I'm feeling a lot of fear right now," would help you to feel heard and help your partner from being overwhelmed.

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LittleBirdy

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Re: Over sharing?
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2019, 04:55:29 AM »
Thank you!! :) I think sharing general feelings while not getting to specific is a great idea, this way I can let him know whatís going on without overwhelming him.