I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!

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Dee

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I have a team working with my treatment.  I have a psychiatrist, therapist, general practitioner, and two dietitians (though I only want one).  In a nutshell I am getting conflicting guidance, two people weighing me, and more supplements given by different providers than any one person should take.  I tried to fire my dietician I had before I went to treatment and go with the one the facility recommended.  Apparently, she hasn't wanted to let me go and it's got ugly.  She's calling me constantly, questioning the new dietician credentials, and disagreeing.  I haven't wanted to hurt her feelings and have not been assertive enough.  My therapist stepped in and sent an email to both explaining my desire and explaining that I am having difficulty.  It didn't go over well.  She called me questioning my decision, telling me my new person doesn't have the right credentials.  She then replied to the email my therapist sent and CC'd me on it.  I email my therapist through a secure message system, I don't have her email or her extension (just the office number), I do now. 

I know she violated protocol for the medical facility I work with (my new dietician is not a part of it).  The question is why do I feel like I did something wrong.  If ever someone should accidentally get the email and extension it is me; I would never use it as I know it is incorrect.  I also suspect that some for of disciplinary action is probably going to be taken.  I feel like I am the cause of problems.  On top of it she's made me crazy with acting as if everything is a serious medical problem and I am in grave danger.  I think she has blown everything out of proportion so she is valuable. 

I am also getting conflicting advice on my psychiatric medication and what nutritional supplements to take even without her in the picture.  I am going crazy with this.  I am so stressed and so done.  I don't want to see any of them, I want to give up and just quit.  I can't navigate this and I feel done, just done.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2019, 03:31:00 PM by Dee »

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Three Roses

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2019, 04:11:28 PM »
Wow, I'm not sure but it seems to me that dietician has reeeaaallly overstepped proper professional boundaries! She seems to be way over her head, imo, in being able to treat you in a trauma-informed way. I honestly think that dietician has behaved in a totally unprofessional manner. I hope her tactics become known to her superiors and she is either corrected or removed so she can't damage anyone.

Medicine is not something that should be done to you... it's something to do with you, in partnership with you, the patient.

I think firing the whole lot of them (except your T) would be really satisfying! But, perhaps not the best thing for you. I don't blame you for being overwhelmed, it would make me feel like throwing up my hands and just saying "I'm done".

It seems like we trauma survivors have been brain washed into thinking, feeling, believing that we do not have the right to speak up for ourselves and say what we want. A proper trauma-informed medical team would support you in finding your own voice, and not (as in the dietician's case) bully you into doing just what she thinks is the best thing to do!!

I hope you find strength in the support of this community, to find your voice and tell these "professionals" that are supposed to be helping you what is and is not helpful to you. We are in your corner, cheering you on!  :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

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Kizzie

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2019, 06:15:06 PM »
 :yeahthat:  especially "Medicine is not something that should be done to you... it's something to do with you, in partnership with you, the patient." 

Unfortunately, we often have to remind (educate) professionals about this and as TR suggests it's difficult for us b/c we have been trained not to "make waves" (a boundary and self-protection busting tactic so many of our perpetrators use). 

Maybe take a sanity/recharge break for a few days and then if/when you're up to it, let all involved know what you're feeling and what you need/want.  I don't think its a matter of making waves, causing trouble , being a burden or asking too much, any of these things.  It's old ghost thoughts and feelings that are triggered by those infernal internal voices that tell us a lot of lies such as we are less worthy or deserving ..... :blahblahblah:.  Those voices are dead wrong.

 :grouphug:


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Blueberry

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2019, 07:28:24 PM »
Dee, I'm so sorry you're going through this! :hug:  I've met this kind of problem with "professionals" in the past unfortunately too. It is crazy-making and for me also always really triggering.

You are not the one here who did something wrong! Emotional flashback to childhood? It would be in my case.

Count me in your corner too, sending strength and courage from OOTS to say what you need to say and to set these people limits! I totally agree that medecine should be done in partnership with the patient, not to the patient, especially so in cases like ours with trauma. Doing medecine to us just perpetuates the trauma ime.

We are here for you.


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notalone

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2019, 10:53:35 PM »
Dee,

I am in agreement with what the others responded to you. It is your right to fire the dietician. You did nothing wrong. It is completely okay for you to ask questions and express concerns about medications and supplements. I'm sorry this has been so overwhelming and stressful for you.

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Dee

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2019, 02:21:32 AM »

I saw my therapist and she told me not to take on her (dietician) crisis.  She fired her for me and I don't think I will ever hear from her again.  She addressed the email that I saw and said she talked to her about it.  Said that something like that could jeopardize our relationship (I saw the original from my therapist to my dietician) and asked if I had any issues with it, I didn't.  She did address that I had all her information, I said I won't use it.  I think we are good.  She mentioned that I didn't need this and I don't.

I should be relived and I feel terrible, I'm not sure why.  I somehow ended up in the middle of and subject of a conflict.  Nothing about this is good.  I think I feel more than anything like a problem.  It seems so small in comparison of life yet it has me in a total spin.

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sanmagic7

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2019, 08:57:05 PM »
darling dee,

if you feel like a problem, it's because you were made to feel like that from the 'professionals' (i use that term loosely here, as i don't see a lot of professional behavior going on, save for your t at the moment), not because you are a problem.  the amount of unprofessional behavior you speak of is horrible and horrifying.  no wonder you're feeling the way you do.

i'm glad your t stepped in on your behalf.  perhaps she can help with the shrink and other dietician  as well.  becoming overwhelmed by too much information can make it very difficult to know where your boundaries are, let alone stand up for and enforce them.  if that fired dietician does contact you again, you have every right to delete her emails/texts or hang up on her without reading or listening to what she has to say.

may i reinforce the notion that you were placed in the middle of a conflict because of a lack of ethics and boundaries (professional and personal) by that dietician.   you did not create the conflict - it was created around you.  like kizzie said, we often have to remind the professionals around us of what is truly going on.

your t sounds like a good resource to help you with this.  if she can't get involved with the shrink and other dietician, maybe she can help you send an email to them stating what's happening, your concerns, how you're feeling, and what you need from them.  maybe you can even do it from her office.

when you're ready, of course, sweetie.  i get that you're overwhelmed right now.  we are definitely here for you.  you have been fighting so hard, i hate the thought that someone should come in and sabotage all your hard work, determination, and intentions.  you deserve better care from these people.  that has nothing to do with making waves, causing inconvenience, stirring up problems or any of those horrid voices that swim thru our heads which do nothing to help us.

you deserve it just because.  you are wonderful, and deserve only the best, no matter what.  love and hugs, dee.   :grouphug:

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Three Roses

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2019, 12:29:21 AM »
Quote
i hate the thought that someone should come in and sabotage all your hard work, determination, and intentions.  you deserve better care from these people.

Yeah! 🤐  :pissed:

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Dee

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2019, 03:13:18 PM »

Thank you all, with some space I am feeling much better.  It is amazing how crazy I felt with a provider who had something going on.  I counted, whereas I had 3 contacts with my therapist I had 12 with that dietician in the same amount of time.  Each contact acted like I had some serious medical issues and that I was in danger.  I've decided that I'm fine.  If it really was that bad I would be in the hospital.

I had a night of crying, which I needed.  It released a lot of building anxiety from being sort of stalked by a dietician (phone calls, visits).  I am ready to move on to healing in a healthy way.

I appreciate the support I received here.  It seemed like such a small thing, but I was really hurting over it.

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sanmagic7

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2019, 03:57:28 PM »
nothing small about it, sweetie.  i thought it was huge.  any time professionals are messing with our minds, it's immediately a big thing.  they, of all people, are supposed to be helpers, not hinderers.  i'm just glad you're feeling a bit better.  and i think stalking is a great word for what she did.  love and hugs.

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Three Roses

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2019, 03:59:35 PM »
Yes, I thought it was pretty important too. It sure would have triggered me! Thanks for letting us support you.

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Blueberry

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2019, 05:45:23 PM »
nothing small about it, sweetie.  i thought it was huge.  any time professionals are messing with our minds, it's immediately a big thing.  they, of all people, are supposed to be helpers, not hinderers. 

 :yeahthat:

i've been messed about a few times really badly by professionals and it was most always severely triggering and took me aaaaages to sort of get back on my feet. I'm glad you're feeling a little better already. Speaks for your inner strength and healing. Also glad you posted in your time of need and got support from here.  :hug:

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Kizzie

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Re: I want to fire all my providers (except my therapist) and give up!
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2019, 06:38:36 PM »
No small thing at all imo either Dee, it was stalking and bullying which adds up to abuse and betrayal by someone in whom you have to place a degree of trust.

Glad to hear you are feeling better about the situation  :grouphug: