I'm finally doing it!

[Dee]

I've been talking about moving away from the vicinity of my sister since I was inpatient in early 2017 (trauma program).  Since then I did a lot of talk and no action.  I think it just felt too big to do alone.  It came up again while I was inpatient for my eating disorder.  I now have had 3 therapist and 3 psychiatrist tell me to go.  I've put my house up for sell (I think I may have an offer) and I bought a new place.  It isn't that far away, 90 minute drive, but far enough. 

In September my sister said my dad died a broken man because of me.  She also said I was 100% responsible for ruining my mom and dad's lives.  Since then the thought of seeing her causes a panic attack.  I live about half a mile away and I am afraid to walk my dog in my neighborhood. 

I'll need to build new support, but it is close enough that I can keep my providers at least for the time being (or as long as I am willing to drive).  I had to go while the motivation was fresh from being inpatient again. 

[sanmagic7]

 

good for you, dee.  i completely believe your sister is wrong.  we are not responsible for others' feelings, nor for their choices in their lives.  i hope you find some peace of mind once you're away.  love   

[Three Roses]

Boy, is your sister wrong! If she really believes that, she is deluded, brainwashed; if she doesn't truly believe it, then she's inflicting pain on you purposely.

You are doing yourself a favor to cut out all these toxic people from your life! Bravo, my friend!

[Blueberry]

Boy, is your sister wrong! If she really believes that, she is deluded, brainwashed; if she doesn't truly believe it, then she's inflicting pain on you purposely.

You are doing yourself a favor to cut out all these toxic people from your life! Bravo, my friend!

Way to go! 

I know lots about "a lot of talk (or thoughts) and no action" though I believe for myself at least that a delay can be necessary. However imo you're making biiiig progress really fast! 

[Not Alone]

  Yea for you taking that big step!

[Kizzie]

In September my sister said my dad died a broken man because of me.  She also said I was 100% responsible for ruining my mom and dad's lives.  Since then the thought of seeing her causes a panic attack.  I live about half a mile away and I am afraid to walk my dog in my neighborhood.

I am so sorry your S said this to you Dee, to be blamed and shamed for something this monumental is just cruel and untrue. I too moved away from my NM and NB and it gave me the energy and space to look at them and our relationships clearly and w/o constantly triggering. I couldn't think or feel anything around them b/c the old trauma would surge up and overtake me.  Anyway, it did wonders for me and I hope the same is true for you   

[Dee]

I feel like for once in my life I got a break.  It worked out so well for me that it almost feels meant to be.  I sold my house in a bidding war for more than I asked and a cash offer.  The cash offer is good because I don't even think it would appraise for what I sold it.  My offer on the other place was accepted without a counter.  I like it better, it is a little bigger and nicer.  It was almost an even trade.

Now, the hard part is moving.  I've got it all set up and just packing now.  I have just over a month.  I think I will feel so free.  Free just to move around without fear.

[Three Roses]

Wow! I'm so happy for you - I agree that it seems meant to be! I'm excited to see where this takes you, congrats - 

[Anjulie]

I think I will feel so free.  Free just to move around without fear.

Oh that sounds great. It is what you truely deserve

[Kizzie]

Wonderful news Dee!!