Shaken/tearful-Old upsetting scary time recalled-Trigger warning re medical stuf

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Yesterday was really upsetting, and has exhausted me today. I literally cant face anything at all today.
Very short version is, I had a shocking dentist visit. Then today I realised I had unprocessed memories of upsetting visits to the dentist when I was a kid, mostly due to my mothers behaviour and lack of care/unbalanced actions etc.

But regardless, yesterdays visit shook me, and was not pretty at all. And now I am re-experiencing old painful things as a result.   


MEDICAL related things.

Basically blood. Utterly freaked me out. Dentists response too. That fake calm yet longer stressed silence and exchanged looks within the professional staff.

Been better if she'd just said-ok, well this is unexpected but we've dealt with much more than this before and its fine and will be sorted soon.

Im not great with such things anyway, and thought it was a routine afternoon of work. It should have been. I still cant write what happened fully.

I was already worried regarding a similar medical thing needing done because of having to face the red stuff, which I do not enjoy .

I put it out of my mind due to having to deal with the dentist. Except then the session with the dentist meant a lot of it before my eyes. Didnt hurt, but really, really upset me, and didnt know how to deal with it, and especially in a public place it was worse.

Not talking about the usual amount to be expected with a normal visit. Talking about the dentist themselve getting concerned.

I think she overused the tools a bit clumsily earlier, which caused it. Anyway, Im really upset about it now, and its unsettled me about dealing with the medical thing I mentioned.


So trying to go easy on things today, allow myself day off, which I find hard. Tearful at times today. Shaken

I could just use a bunch of safe hugs and love/positive thoughts sent my way. Feel shaken and really upset.



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Three Roses

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So upsetting! Take care of yourself  :hug: 💕