EFT and cPTSD

[Blueskies]

I have been going through the most awful psychological abuse on and off for many years from a close family member. Mostly I've cut them off but I seem to have a hair trigger for cPTSD so it's very easy to get triggered anyway. Basically I'm treated like a non-person, an empty shell, told what to do, how to feel, spoken to with complete destain and disgust, and there is a constant agenda of control and manipulation. This person has tried to use other family members too, bad mouthing me and my partner and attempting to harass and manipulate by proxy. I'm terrified of them.

This person is now going through major health issues and trying to use it as a weapon. I'm very ill myself and can't take any of it.

I've started eft to cope with being triggered last week by a family member sharing news of the person and their latest attempts to force contact. Has anyone else used it? It's taken the edge off a bit but I'm still extremely stressed. Wondered if anyone had any advice on using it for psychological abuse? Thanks.

[Blueberry]

I see you haven't been on for a while, so welcome back!

My trauma therapist taught me EFT and I still use it. It does take the edge off though on its own it's not enough. I run sentences through like "Even though I've just done something bad to myself OR even though I've made a mistake OR even though I'm frightened, I still accept myself". I guess that counteracts the voices from FOO saying the opposite, which is basically my Inner Critic still saying the opposite.

But as I said, it's not enough. I discovered that I need to create as much distance between myself and FOO as possible, which includes setting limits to any people who try to pass on information to me about FOO, since that's all triggering.

[Kizzie]

I haven't used EFT Blueskies but just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about what you're caught up in right now.  I've experienced the same behaviour and I know just how deeply traumatic and triggering it can be.

[Blueskies]

I see you haven't been on for a while, so welcome back!

My trauma therapist taught me EFT and I still use it. It does take the edge off though on its own it's not enough. I run sentences through like "Even though I've just done something bad to myself OR even though I've made a mistake OR even though I'm frightened, I still accept myself". I guess that counteracts the voices from FOO saying the opposite, which is basically my Inner Critic still saying the opposite.

But as I said, it's not enough. I discovered that I need to create as much distance between myself and FOO as possible, which includes setting limits to any people who try to pass on information to me about FOO, since that's all triggering.

Thank you. Do you think therapy is needed on top of EFT? I'm so glad to hear you say that people passing info on is triggering. I feel so stupid that someone mentioning them can trigger me! But it's the way this person passes on information - it's full of melodrama and shock value and even a drop of it has me back into insomnia and panic attacks. I probably need to do some inner critic work too...interesting what you said about FOO voices and inner critic voice...can so relate to that!

[Blueskies]

I haven't used EFT Blueskies but just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about what you're caught up in right now.  I've experienced the same behaviour and I know just how deeply traumatic and triggering it can be.

Thanks so much Kizzie. It helps to know I'm not on my own.

[Blueberry]

But as I said, it's not enough. I discovered that I need to create as much distance between myself and FOO as possible, which includes setting limits to any people who try to pass on information to me about FOO, since that's all triggering.

Thank you. Do you think therapy is needed on top of EFT?

Actually I mean here that in my case it was necessary to set a limit so that nobody subjects me to things I don't want to hear or see or read. I certainly needed therapy to get to the point of realising this for myself, which essentially meant accepting that "yes, my childhood was that bad and no, nobody in FOO is going to change"  and then to start setting limits and deal with the fall-out of those limits. I have needed a lot of therapy.

I'm so glad to hear you say that people passing info on is triggering. I feel so stupid that someone mentioning them can trigger me! But it's the way this person passes on information - it's full of melodrama and shock value and even a drop of it has me back into insomnia and panic attacks.

People passing on info can be very triggering. It can be just a word that triggers, a tone of voice, the melodrama. Please don't feel stupid!! You aren't stupid. You are traumatised. Nothing to do with intelligence.

[Blueskies]

But as I said, it's not enough. I discovered that I need to create as much distance between myself and FOO as possible, which includes setting limits to any people who try to pass on information to me about FOO, since that's all triggering.

Thank you. Do you think therapy is needed on top of EFT?

Thanks for clarifying Blueberry. Part of me always feels I should be able to handle more info or contact with FOO so it's helpful to hear that it's okay to limit or stop contact, even if they are very ill. It's definitely tone of voice...it somehow gets passed on....definitely massively triggering for me.
Actually I mean here that in my case it was necessary to set a limit so that nobody subjects me to things I don't want to hear or see or read. I certainly needed therapy to get to the point of realising this for myself, which essentially meant accepting that "yes, my childhood was that bad and no, nobody in FOO is going to change"  and then to start setting limits and deal with the fall-out of those limits. I have needed a lot of therapy.

I'm so glad to hear you say that people passing info on is triggering. I feel so stupid that someone mentioning them can trigger me! But it's the way this person passes on information - it's full of melodrama and shock value and even a drop of it has me back into insomnia and panic attacks.

People passing on info can be very triggering. It can be just a word that triggers, a tone of voice, the melodrama. Please don't feel stupid!! You aren't stupid. You are traumatised. Nothing to do with intelligence.

[Kizzie]

Blueskies, what about setting a boundary and asking the person not to share news of/from the person who triggers you? I had to ask my M whom I'm in low contact with not to share family news b/c it triggered me.  She didn't like it but she (mostly) complies.  It gives me more trauma free space to feel safe and work on recovery without having to deal with being triggered. I actually moved with my H to the other side of the country so I wouldn't be around family for that reason and it really helped me.

[Blueskies]

Blueskies, what about setting a boundary and asking the person not to share news of/from the person who triggers you? I had to ask my M whom I'm in low contact with not to share family news b/c it triggered me.  She didn't like it but she (mostly) complies.  It gives me more trauma free space to feel safe and work on recovery without having to deal with being triggered. I actually moved with my H to the other side of the country so I wouldn't be around family for that reason and it really helped me.

Thanks Kizzie. I have asked but then I made the mistake of mentioning the family member in conversation (because I was starting to relax and feel safe enough to say their name) and they started to talk about them in detail including recent news. I will have to avoid doing that again. Glad that moving helped you.